Girlfriend feels responsible for boyfriend’s battered face

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This article was published 04/05/2017 (3110 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I caught my boyfriend stealing from my mother’s purse! I caught him red-handed in her bedroom when he thought I was in the bathroom downstairs. I thought I heard a strange scuffling noise upstairs and ran up quietly to the source of it — my dad and mom’s room — and there was my boyfriend going through my mom’s big purse. She only takes the little one and her Visa card with her usually.

“Find anything?” I said, as he stood here with a $20 and a $5 bill in his left hand. His right hand was still in the purse. He turned around and said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I just need this money so bad.” He dropped the money and ran downstairs and out the door.

I phoned my dad at work and asked him what to do. He said to leave it to him. He went to the boy’s house and told his father and mother what had happened. The next day at school, my boyfriend had a bruise on his face and was carrying his arm carefully. He ducked his head and took off and out the school door when he saw me. Obviously he had gotten a beating. I don’t know what to say and I don’t know what to do. Did I do wrong by telling my dad? — Feeling So Badly, Downtown

Dear Feeling So Badly: If you covered for your boyfriend and he got away with it, would he keep doing it? What did he need the money for so badly? Is he into drugs — taking them or selling them? This is too much for you to wrestle with alone. You might want to talk to your school counsellor about this. At any rate, you should stay away from him now. He has received some severe punishment. That’s hard enough. Don’t spread the story all over the school, but don’t go back to him either.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am 22 and have a mother and a stepmother. Mother’s Day is coming up and I usually get them both something — a little present for my stepmother and a larger gift with flowers for my mother.

This year, my father has dropped my stepmother and gone back to my blood mother. My stepmother was always good to me although I wasn’t her own. My real mother was often drunk and miserable. She has quit drinking now, and is as nice as pie to me and my dad. She says over and over again that things are now going to be the way they always should have been.

It’s a bit late for that. I moved out and live with my two best friends. My childhood was very insecure. I never knew where I was at. I still have feelings for both women. Please help me do this right. My stepmother keeps inviting me over for dinner, cooking the things she knows I really like. My real mother hates cooking. I feel like I am cheating on them both by sneaking back and forth, and now here comes Mother’s Day. What should I do? — Girl With Two Mothers, West End

Dear Girl With Two Mothers: Homemade cards would serve you best, so you can use words that are appropriate for each mother figure in your life. Can you arrange to see one for lunch (the one who doesn’t cook much) and visit your stepmother for dinner? Maybe she’ll cook and you can bring the dessert. Ask your biological mom out to lunch right away, so she can’t take up the dinner hour you would like to spend with your stepmom. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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