Vacation relations not meant to work out

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/05/2017 (3358 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met an annoying man on a recent Mexican group tour. From Day 1 we sparred and teased each other. One night after the group had a lot of tequilas, he started bugging me.

I said, “Somebody has to shut you up!” and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and kissed him. That started a very hot romance for the rest of the trip.

Sadly, the tour ended less than a week later. That didn’t have to be the end: we’re both Canadian, but from different provinces, yet he hasn’t answered my online messages or phone calls to his work. I’m going crazy wondering why. — Confused and Hurting, Downtown

Dear Confused and Hurting: The answer is, regrettably, because he doesn’t want to continue. The reasons why I can guess. 1) He may have a girlfriend. 2) There’s something so irritating about you it’s a deal breaker. 3.) He’s tried long-distance romances before and hated them. Great chemistry requires people live close enough to get their hot bodies together on a regular basis.

So do you really need to bug him to know why? Why let that spoil the memory of what you had: drama, excitement, fun and hot sex?

Let this be a happy lesson to you — there is still great romance and sensuality within you. Make a point of looking for someone new here this spring.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m not a guy who has very much going in the looks department anymore, but believe me, I did once. I was king of the high school way back when — super athletic, full head of hair and a gold earring.

I started losing my hair in my very early 20s, worked long hours at a computer and quit sports. My body ballooned up all around the middle. The weight crept up during a bad marriage.

It was a real slap in the face when I ran into my old high school love at a mall recently. When I said, “It’s me,” and then my name, she blinked a few times and said, “Oh yes, of course it is. Please forgive me, you’ve gotten, uh, you’ve changed!”

I know she almost said that I’ve gotten fat and lost my hair. I was radically upset. I went out to my car and felt the tears.

I went home, stripped off my clothes and looked in the full-length mirror. It was not a pretty sight.

There’s really no need for it. I’m not sick, just fat and lazy with no hair on top. I started a healthy diet program online that day. I won’t buy new clothes until I’m thinner. Can you help?

— Need Help With Makeover, Southdale

Dear Need Help With Makeover: Be positive! Secretly call this Project (add your name) and have fun with it.

First, shave your head completely and put your earring back in. That’s a sexy look. Depending on your job you can take the earring out and put it back in when you’re off work. I know a guy who has a collection of manly earrings that women find very interesting.

Don’t put off buying new clothes as you lose weight. To start, wear darker-coloured shirts to diminish your belly and lighter pants to even up the visual.

Find a tailor who will alter suits. Don’t schlub around in sweat pants or baggy jeans with the no bum look.

There are men’s jeans now with elastic in the blend that will fit perfectly and shrink as you do. You’ll feel slimmer immediately.

Music will help, so get some upbeat music going and put in your earbuds to walk or run outside in the beautiful spring weather.

Join a running club and enter a race in a few months. And remember, the most attractive thing about any guy is the smile, a twinkle in the eye and self-confidence.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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