Date would have been tolerant of gluten intolerance

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This article was published 10/01/2018 (3171 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too much pizza on a date and had to disappear to the bathroom for 20 minutes. I only went for pizza with her because she asked, and I was so excited she wanted to go out with me again. I react to gluten, so pizza can really set me off.

She looked a little shocked when I got back to the table. She told me she thought I ditched her and left her with the bill. I gave her a weak smile and said my stomach was upset. I told her I needed to go home and she didn’t look very happy. I didn’t know how to tell her the truth.

On the way home we had to stop so I could use a bathroom at a gas station. When I came back she asked what I was doing in the bathroom so long. I was embarrassed and said kind of abruptly, “Well I wasn’t throwing up, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Then she dropped me off, and I went in.

I don’t know what to do. I doubt she would want another date and it seemed like I was an idiot. Please help.—Gluten Guts, River Heights

Dear Gluten Guts: Call her up and confess that you have gluten sensitivity and you should have told her when she called to ask you to go out, but you didn’t want to refuse the date. If she had known, you could have ordered the gluten-free pizza.

Truth is a good thing in dating and prevents a lot of misunderstandings.

She may be relieved because then that very awkward date is explained. Once she knows what’s up, she won’t be overly upset about bathroom exits.

As it turns out, my friend, every human being has to go to the bathroom every day. It’s not a big deal. And if you end up getting intimate, you will see every inch of each other’s bodies. So be upfront with your friends and dates about your situation, and relax.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found out a secret about my cousin — she is really my older sister!

She wrote me online to tell me and I was shocked. She just found out and she was actually excited (after being shocked) because we have always loved each other when we visited on rare occasions.

It turns out my mom’s older sister raised my mom’s first baby in a different place because my mom was too young to raise her first child.

My mom, who has raised me 13 years and done a good job, might be very upset if she knew that I know she had given away a first baby to her older sister to raise. Should I tell my mom the secret is out now? 

I would like to see my older sister more, now that I know, and she would like to see more of me. We kind of look like each other and feel a bit like twins separated at birth, although we are quite a few years apart.

How do I tell my mom I know, in a letter on her pillow, or face to face? I was thinking if she needed to cry right away, maybe she wouldn’t want me staring at her. —Really Love My Mom, North End 

Dear Really Love My Mom: If you write in a letter that you know the family secret, make sure you don’t use that phrase, “twins separated at birth,” because it would be hurtful and guilt-inducing for your mom, and it isn’t accurate anyway.

Tell your mom how much you love her, and that she will always have your respect. Tell her you understand how young she was during her first pregnancy — too young to raise a child for sure.

It may feel good for everyone to get it out in the open, or it might not. Be prepared for either reaction, and know that time will usually change shocked first reactions.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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