Wife scared to let go of husband who’s cheating

Advertisement

Advertise with us

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel sick because I can't let go of my husband even though I know he is seeing another woman. I know who she is and where she lives because she used to be my friend when we lived across the city.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/04/2018 (3045 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel sick because I can’t let go of my husband even though I know he is seeing another woman. I know who she is and where she lives because she used to be my friend when we lived across the city.

I suspect they’ve been lovers for a long time as we have known her for almost 15 years. She abruptly stopped being my friend about four years ago, after my husband insisted we move to a new neighborhood. I didn’t want to move, but be said it would be better for the kids, and it’s true. It’s safer and more child-friendly, but I had to uproot from the North End where I loved my house and knew so many people. I suspect now he was trying to put distance between me and that woman.

I don’t know what to do because I love him and don’t want our family to break up. I don’t want to demand he make a choice, but how do I live with him with this terrible secret between us and an ache in my heart? Should I call her and ask her to leave my husband alone? Would that cause him to hate me? Would it force a split?

If I ask him to go to counselling, will he know what’s up, and just walk? By the way, this woman has no children of her own and her husband’s a drunk. Is there any hope? — Heart Is Breaking, Suburb X

Dear Heart is Breaking: You really want to phone your former friend who is now bedding your husband? That’s an option, and it may scare her away from him, the problem is it may also cause him to leave you to be with her. Think about this situation like cracked ice on a river you need to cross to get to a better place: tread carefully, but don’t chicken out totally and sit on the riverside, waiting for him to go.

You could go the “I love you and I’m willing to fight for you” route, which is successful in some marriages where the partner becomes involved in an affair. Sometimes, just being aware of the partner knowing and suffering like you are is enough to take the fun out of the affair. You don’t have to be pleasant when he goes off to see her, but you can let him know you know exactly where he’s going, and that it makes you feel sad.

If he says he wants to talk about things, then suggest a counsellor. Have at least two you’ve researched on hand to give him a choice of a man or woman. Meanwhile, you need an outlet, and gossipy family members are not a good choice. Your best friend and a relationship counsellor for just you are better choices. Try to figure out when the marriage went south and fix anything you can repair from your side.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I lost my temper and got into trouble at a restaurant. I had just had a fight with my kids in the car, and I was in a bad mood. The kids got out of their seats at the restaurant and started running around, yelling. I gathered them up twice. The third time my waitress told me I was going to have to control my children. She didn’t say “leave,” but the implication was there. I lost it, and called her some choice names.

She went to the manager and when I saw him coming, I threw some money on the table, grabbed my kids and started leaving, saying loudly enough for other people to hear, “We’re not staying in this piece-of-crap restaurant a moment longer!”

I told my husband, who used to work in a restaurant, and he said that was a disgusting thing to do and I owed the server an apology. No way am I going back there. It’s a family restaurant and they should be used to kids. Why should I apologize? — Justified Anger, Winnipeg

Dear Justified Anger: Part of a server’s job is controlling the section she’s working, so everybody who has come to pay for a meal and pleasant service has an enjoyable time. Your kids were out of line, and so were you and your foul mouth. As for the apology, it’s unlikely that server wants to see your face again, but you could send a note of apology to the restaurant and her. Apologies do help, even to strangers, and your husband would feel better about you if you did that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Premier presses Bell Canada about ‘unacceptable’ 911 outages

Carol Sanders 5 minute read Preview

Premier presses Bell Canada about ‘unacceptable’ 911 outages

Carol Sanders 5 minute read 7:19 PM CDT

Premier Wab Kinew said the province is doing all it can to ensure that Manitobans aren’t hit with another 911 service outage — including asking the head of Bell Canada to help.

“At the end of the day, when you dial 911, we need to get emergency services to you as quickly as possible,” Kinew said.

On July 22, an hours-long outage prevented nearly 90 calls to 911 from being routed to the public safety answering point in Brandon. Backup systems that reroute 911 calls when an outage occurs also experienced “issues” after a third party cut the cable during construction near Winnipeg, Bell Canada said earlier.

At the time, Kinew called the 911 outage “unacceptable,” and told reporters that Prime Minister Mark Carney assured him he would raise the matter with telecom executives.

Read
7:19 PM CDT

Low-income residents of 114-year-old downtown block staggered by proposed rent hikes

Malak Abas 9 minute read Preview

Low-income residents of 114-year-old downtown block staggered by proposed rent hikes

Malak Abas 9 minute read 5:13 PM CDT

Marcel Blanchette’s life has not travelled down a smooth road.

In 2014, he was violently assaulted in his home, an unprovoked attack that left him with severe injuries, including permanent brain damage. He underwent months of hospitalization and rehabilitation. During that time, he learned his possessions had been sold off when the Office of The Public Guardian and Trustee took over his affairs.

Twelve years later, he finds himself in another fight. This time, it comes in the form of a proposal from the new owners of the Conway Court apartment block that would nearly double his monthly rent. While he’s been able to live in the Kennedy Street unit with the support of disability income assistance for nearly five years, the sudden spike, he said, could leave him homeless.

“To go through that, and now I’m going through this, it’s another obstacle,” Blanchette told the Free Press. “I fought the Public Guardian and Trustee, and I’ll fight this too, with whatever I have.”

Read
5:13 PM CDT

Pharmacist who failed to disclose addiction, couldn’t account for ‘staggering’ amount of drugs fined $100K by disciplinary panel

Scott Billeck 4 minute read Preview

Pharmacist who failed to disclose addiction, couldn’t account for ‘staggering’ amount of drugs fined $100K by disciplinary panel

Scott Billeck 4 minute read Yesterday at 12:50 PM CDT

A June 9 disciplinary decision found more than 39,000 doses went unaccounted for while Glen Pauch, who worked at a Portage la Prairie pharmacy, was consuming drugs and improperly dispensing controlled substances — including opioids oxycodone and hydromorphone, and Concerta, a stimulant prescribed for ADHD — to 11 patients.

Read
Yesterday at 12:50 PM CDT

Close to 5,000 net new health-care workers added since 2023 election, province says

Chris Kitching 7 minute read Preview

Close to 5,000 net new health-care workers added since 2023 election, province says

Chris Kitching 7 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:43 PM CDT

More doctors and nurses are working in Manitoba than ever before but health-care challenges remain, Premier Wab Kinew says.

The province has added 4,725 net new health-care workers to the provincial system since the NDP won the October 2023 election, Kinew told reporters Tuesday.

The government’s total includes 370 doctors, 1,464 nurses, 2,152 health-care aides and 607 allied health professionals, a group that includes physiotherapists, dietitians, paramedics, medical lab technologists and others.

Kinew said more doctors and nurses are working in Manitoba than ever before.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:43 PM CDT

‘Frustrated’ Selkirk nurses plead for help

Morgan Modjeski 3 minute read Preview

‘Frustrated’ Selkirk nurses plead for help

Morgan Modjeski 3 minute read 5:21 PM CDT

The province must take immediate action to increase low staffing levels that are putting Selkirk emergency room nurses at risk, a letter sent to the premier and health minister says.

The letter, sent by the Manitoba Nurses Union and signed by 35 ER nurses, detailed multiple recent incidents at the Selkirk Regional Health Centre. In one case, a nurse was stabbed with a pen by a patient who had been waiting 24 hours for care. In another case, a nurse was bitten by a patient.

“Nurses in that emergency department are extremely frustrated,” said Manitoba Nurses Union president Darlene Jackson. “This is not something that happened in the last month — or overnight — these are problems that have been growing.”

The five-page letter was sent Tuesday to Premier Wab Kinew, Health Minister Uzoma Asagwara and leaders of the Interlake-Eastern Regional Health Authority. It contained 10 requests to improve safety inside the emergency department, including establishing safer nurse-to-patient staffing levels, eliminating the practice of “single physician coverage” in the emergency department and implementing an institutional safety officer around the clock.

Read
5:21 PM CDT

Edmonton not the same old Elks as Bombers get ready for road clash

Taylor Allen 7 minute read Preview

Edmonton not the same old Elks as Bombers get ready for road clash

Taylor Allen 7 minute read 7:04 PM CDT

Edmonton’s CFL team has been a complete, utter mess for the majority of the past decade.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers took full advantage of their once-prominent West Division foe falling on hard times by shellacking them time and time again.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

The Blue and Gold defeated the Elks three times in a span of five weeks in 2021 — including a 30-3 beatdown on Chancellor Matheson Road on Oct. 8.

Read
7:04 PM CDT