Big fellow needs to drop weight — and his attitude

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/10/2019 (2500 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a medium-height fat man, no two ways about it, at 350 lb. But I’m also a funny man — could have done standup, but I like to feel secure about my money. I have a big business now. I’m proud of it and I mention it online when I am trying to meet women.

I’m single and reaching out, but the only thing women see is my fat body. Hey, I like to drink and eat, what can I say? I don’t want to live on lettuce! I can’t get any attention from the slimmer girls, only the chubbies, and I don’t deserve that. One fatty in the family is enough. Besides, I have a lot to offer.

I’m not an old guy — in my late 30s — with a multimillionaire future ahead of me. What do you suggest?

— Wanting a Woman, South Winnipeg

Dear Wanting a Woman: You can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect most women to be so bowled over by your humour and money they will overlook your girth — although a person who really needed or wanted money might look past it.

It’s your attitude that is really off. You’re not a happy, loving, overweight guy. You are angry at women for not accepting you as you are, and it shows. You also give off a feeling of entitlement because of your money.

As a businessman, you should talk to yourself like this: “I have an obvious problem that needs to be taken care of before I can proceed to my goal of finding love and romance. I also need to take care of my anger and negative attitudes to succeed in this.”

Please see a psychologist or psychiatrist for help.

At the same time, hire a professional dietitian to help you take control and start losing your dangerous weight. That weight could kill you with a heart attack, even at a young age. You may be courting diabetes and other weight-related issues, such as high blood pressure, which can lead to a stroke. Why not see a trained dietitian and go on a healthy diet? You will have plenty of food besides lettuce to keep you full, and you won’t be hungry.

A private trainer with his own place for one-on-one meetings would keep you out of the gym, where people might watch. You have the money to hire a great one, so why not do it? You have every good thing to gain and a lot of problems to lose, by dropping the weight and the attitude.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing with regard to the man who signed his letter Can’t Stand The Guy. Mr. Bully, his neighbour, came into the sex shop, came up to him and said, “Fancy meeting you here.” Unless he was stalking this man, which would be sick, he is really pushing the gall factor by making fun of his neighbour.

So, I think our guy needs to stand up to this guy and make the point that a real man who wants to please his mate is not ashamed to be seen in a sex shop. I think he should stand tall. As for the other guy, he was probably embarrassed and tried to push it off by by picking on this neighbour. Just sayin’!

— Fearless, Winnipeg

Dear Fearless: Talking back to the man as you suggest would have been the best idea, but in the moment, that mortified guy couldn’t say anything clever. A response like that takes some thought and he was caught unaware — looking at something on display, no doubt.

“Mind your own business, and leave me on my own,” would have been abrupt, but not too harsh a retort for the smart-alec he was dealing with.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography