Time to take stock of marriage

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/10/2019 (2535 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found irrefutable evidence that my husband is taking a trip beyond the business trip he’s supposedly taking to a major Canadian centre first. He is secretly flying to a Caribbean island and will be there for four days with someone at a hotel and then flying back to the place where he’s supposed to be on business for two days — and then flying home. 

What should I do? I was thinking of surprising him on the first leg of the trip and spoiling his little get-together with another person.

I’m not even 100 per cent certain it’s a woman he’s meeting. He confessed in a drunken stupor he had a male-to-male experiment back in his early 20s when everybody else was experimenting. I filed that away and preferred not to look at it.

Things have been quite cold in the marriage bedroom for at least a year now. We tried and tried to have a baby at first, but it didn’t work, and since then, he just kind of shrank away from me.

What do you think I should do? — Furious Beyond Words, Transcona

Dear Furious: Nowhere do you speak of emotion. The word love didn’t come up once! So why waste a nickel trying to chase him or trick him. Just present the evidence now and say: “We need to talk seriously about our marriage or lack of one. Can we talk to a relationship counsellor and can you please not go on that trip? Or should we be talking to lawyers and accountants and doing whatever else is needed?”

Things clearly went cold a while back when you didn’t prove to be a breeder. It sounds like you were both hoping to have children and when that was no longer a binding factor, the relationship lost its glue. And your husband started looking around and found somebody for fun or for love.

People tend to underrate passion in a marriage, but good sex is the ‘bio-glue’ that turns a friendship into a ‘lover-ship’ and keeps the couple attached, warm and happy to be together.

So, it’s really time to take stock of the situation. Who knows? You may meet a new man, fall deeply in love and even have a baby, or adopt some children.

No point in “walking in place” —  going nowhere in a relationship, especially as there are no dependants to worry about.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriends and I went to a strip club in Montreal and had a great time. Ever since then, I have been dying for a man (or men!) to dance for me like that — and I don’t want something online. I want a guy who’s real, and dances and smells of exotic oils. 

I proposed to my girlfriends that we go back for a 10-day holiday after Christmas and check out the whole male strip scene, but they weren’t interested. For them, it was a one-time kick.

Is there something wrong with me that I like watching male stripping so much? — Turned on By Male Strippers, Winnipeg

Dear Turned On: It’s too bad you can’t find yourself a guy who likes stripping for you so you can actually have your own live-in dancer — and maybe you could do the same for him. Not easy to find this kind of dance partner! 

You need a dancer-romancer who’s a proud peacock type. You might find this kind of guy bodybuilding in a gym, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to strip for you, or that he can even dance!

Yours truly has heard from readers (women) with husbands or lovers who have fair to middling bodies, but who think they’re hot and like to strip sometimes as a prelude to sex — with or without music! You could always add the tunes or hum a little.

Finding a mate like this just might be your solution, although if it’s variety in stripping you crave — like what you can find in Montreal and other big cities — it’s going to cost a pretty penny to fly the skyways when you want some thrills.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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