Canine conundrum may be unsolvable

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/02/2020 (2337 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend, whom I love, wants to move in — but she has three large dogs. Danger alert: I really don’t like dogs. They make me nervous. Last September, one of her beasts lifted his big leg and peed on mine. 

I’m secretly not looking forward to her and her hounds moving in and damaging my furniture, walls, making messes and all of that. I want to have kids with her, and people always say to start with pets, but these things are adult and huge and are not at all like baby humans. 

Am I being unreasonable? Will I ever learn to love three big dogs that smell bad and are destructive? I don’t want to share walking them and picking up doggie doo. Should I have to? I won’t give her a moving-in-together date and she is getting fed up.

— Fearing For Myself, St. Vital

Dear Fearing: This could be a disaster in the making. Your girlfriend loves her dogs like children, and shouldn’t be asked or told to give them up. Tell her you want to keep dating but you need separate places in order for her to have her big doggie friends and not have you feeling pushed out of your safe and happy living space. 

She may dump you on the spot, but that’s better than having her move in and hating it there without her dogs — or, worse still, letting her bring the dogs and then asking her to move out because you can’t stand it!

This doesn’t sound like a long-term match, even though you are enamoured of her personally.

Dog lovers feel like their animals are children, vulnerable and really require mates who love dogs, too.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dad always gives me a hard time for being “in touch with my feminine side” and I hate it. Objectively, yes, I am more feminine than most of my peers, but I feel like that term is old and outdated. So what if I am? 

I’m 19 and living at home in the basement while going to university. I could move out, but how does that change the relationship with my father?

My dad is an old-school guy who always has an old car and a truck, loves sports, and probably resents me for being the way I am. 

I like makeup sometimes, I like dresses sometimes, and I find men attractive as much as I do women — each for their own unique reasons. I guess people would say I’m bisexual although I hardly ever get close enough to anybody to have sex.

What can I do to bridge the gap, if anything?

— Not What My Dad Wants, Winnipeg

Dear Not What Dad Wants: At 19, you’re old enough to move out. Since your sexuality is being mocked at home, it would be a good idea if you could move in with friends who understand you, so you get the acceptance you need.

Actually, having your own little studio apartment in the same block with some other less judgemental friends might be your best bet, but you may need a job and a student loan.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife suggested something I’m really not down with. She’s looking for a ménage à trois with two guys — myself and another man from outside our circle of friends.

Things haven’t been great sexually for the last year and I suggested we start exploring new things. Then she suggested a threesome and I lost all my interest in sex that night and for the past week as well. 

I know by turning her down I’ve only made things worse, but sometimes the parts won’t work without a spark if you know what I mean. Is it over for us? I can’t face a breakup, and that’s why I’m writing to you. I don’t even want to tell my closest friends. P.S.: I might be OK if the third person was another woman.

— Another Man Won’t Work, South Winnipeg

Dear Won’t Work: Both of you are OK with a new person of the opposite sex. She wants a novel man and you want a novel woman.

You might want to swing with another couple for a more balanced situation and (this is no joke) equal opportunity jealousy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography