Baby-talk issue calls for kid gloves

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This article was published 02/03/2020 (2353 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend and I have been together all through university and we both just graduated. We’re living together now, and I am starting to find fault in many of the small things she does. You know how something can be cute to you in the beginning, but eventually you grow to resent it? 

She uses baby talk all the time and it drives me nuts. She’s going to be 30 in a few years and is still is using baby talk for between 30 and 40 per cent of her speech.

I think she used to do it during difficult conversations when she was uncomfortable, but now we live together I see her do it more and more, and it’s driving me nuts. What should I do? How do I talk to her without hurting her feelings?

— Hate the Baby Talk, West End

Dear Hate the Baby Talk: Put it to her this way: “This is partly my fault. I used to think the baby talk was cute but now I really don’t. Could you please stop that method of communication?” Putting it that way is not so offensive and it gets the message across. Whatever you do, don’t imitate her baby talk, mocking it to make your point. That would throw a match on a big fire just waiting to flare up.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife wants to buy a cabin, and I want a divorce. I’m so unhappy it’s affecting my life. I’m a downer when out with friends, my kids (who have grown up and moved out) say I seem down, and my colleagues are noticing I’m getting less work done. 

My wife isn’t a bad person. We just ran out of intimacy many years ago and I am starting to feel time catching up with me. The past few weeks have been full of her looking online for a cabin. I think this big purchase is finally forcing me to take a long, good look in the mirror. All day, every day. Will this feeling pass or am I going to have to make a difficult decision?

— Cabin Is Last Straw? Brandon

Dear Cabin: Your wife’s cabin-buying push amps up the financial commitment between you, just when you’re feeling your marriage has been winding down — and critically. 

It’s like she’s asking you to sign on to a big new marriage commitment. What that’s done is make it clearer you want your life to go in another direction — away from her. Quietly go off to see a relationship counsellor and a psychologist, and talk your feelings out privately. 

When you have figured out what you think you want, tell your wife you need marriage counselling to see if you really want to stay together. Or you may be just so turned off, you’ll want out and decide to see a lawyer. Maybe your wife is bored stiff with you and that’s HER reason for the new shared cabin project.

You two have part of one life left to live. This cabin would be recommitting to the marriage. At least have the guts to say no to the project until you have your married-or-not life situation figured out.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife keeps denying she went out and got Botox when I was away, yet I can see the differences. Should I let her keep up the lie or phone her doctor? I know who did it.

— Lied To Husband

Dear Lied To: Don’t be a finger-pointing jerk about this! Botox wears off. For now, she looks younger and feels better except for your playing Sherlock and trying to make her admit she had the injections. Why not get off her case?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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