Now is the perfect chance for homework, Romeo

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/04/2020 (2361 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Wouldn’t you know it? Just when you can’t be dating someone new due to COVID-19, I meet the hottest woman on two feet, with no wedding ring on her finger.

She is new in my work building downtown, and dressed up all the time. I was sorry when we couldn’t go down the same elevator together on two occasions this week. It’s just a small elevator, and some people are taking the stairs. I wouldn’t want to endanger her by breathing on her, and I’m too lazy to take that many stairs. I’ve reverted to the 1950s “ladies-first” rule in our building for elevator use.

There is no one at home in my apartment, except the two pets, and they aren’t talkative. I’m sick of my computer and its games. I’ve gained weight from eating out of boredom. Hell, I’m getting really lonely, and that’s the truth! Is there anything I can do to get to know this woman right now?

— Safety First, Downtown

Dear Safety: If it isn’t being too obvious, you can ask people about her. Find out what job she does for which company and what it involves. That way you’ll be ready to carry on a somewhat informed conversation when the time comes that we can connect in person again.

Remember, this lady can’t be much more social than you right now, and probably won’t show up in your office building with an engagement ring anytime soon, unless she’s already seriously involved.

So use this time to do your homework. Check her out online on Facebook and business websites, and Google her. Also, stop stuffing your face, Romeo, and start doing those sit-ups!

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is perfectly capable of making love — but can’t be bothered. When I complained as sweetly as I could after six or so months with no sex (except a peck good night), he said he long ago “showed me all his tricks” and he’s “all out.”

I said, “You open doors for other ladies and say please and thank you repeatedly. No special tricks are required. In a marriage, lovemaking isn’t finished once you’ve said and done every trick you know how to do!”

His ignorant reaction? “Huh? That’s stupid! I’m watching this show. Harrass me about this crap later!”

I burst into tears and ran from the room. He didn’t move a muscle. We have had this fight many times before, but this time I took my clothes to the guest bedroom and packed them into the dresser, drawers and closet.

When the oaf finished his beers and sports and came to bed, he found the master bedroom half empty, and my new bedroom door locked.

He pounded on my door and I refused to answer. He called me names and threatened me bodily. This morning he was out the door to work before I came out. I am working remotely at home.

He can be nice, or else he can yell and comes close to violence. We have no children and we’ve been married for more than five years. No wonder! His interest in sex comes nowhere near his interest in TV sports. What do you think I should do?

— Lonely and Scared, North End

 

Dear Lonely and Scared: Do you want a lifetime of this man’s cold, mean personality and his lack of sex drive and affection? If not, it’s about time to leave. This is not a husband for life, or a man to have children with, so be glad you haven’t any yet.

It would be hard to leave right now. You might need to live in your bubble as housemates until the COVID-19 danger is over, but you don’t need to share a bedroom. You can start getting some moves made towards splitting up by calling professionals, like a lawyer, when your husband is off at work.

Be prepared. Once your husband sees how dangerous the situation is to his marriage, he may turn on the charm, but it’s only to try to get himself out of trouble. Look, he can’t have been like this when he was asking you to be his wife. This was part of his personality all along, but it was a hidden part.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please suggest the lady who signed off Can’t Talk Much On the Phone subscribes to call-waiting for her home telephone. (She said she is her husband’s caregiver, often waiting for doctors’ calls or deliveries that need buzzing in.)

Call-waiting is an excellent service which the telephone system provides. I took advantage of this years ago, when my husband was in hospital. I was able to talk to friends knowing that I would be notified when another call was coming in.

—Retired MTS Operator, Winnipeg

 

Dear MTS Operator: Yes, it’s a great service for a caregiver and also for other people who are having a lot of deliveries to the door, and want to be able to have their one phone line still available for other communication at the same time.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.