Put real thought into sweetheart’s gift

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This article was published 14/02/2021 (2065 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hope it’s not too late, but I want to put out a warning to any last-minute Valentines. You need to pay attention. This is coming from a guy who used to screw up, and paid for it dearly. I used to blame it on having too much work, but the truth is I just didn’t care enough, or maybe I didn’t get it.

Last year, I hurt my wife’s feelings deeply. She gave me a book she had a graphic designer make, that told the story of us meeting. I went out and bought her a gift card, after she gave me the book — too little, too late and not the least bit personal, when you’re basically saying “buy it yourself.”

The gift card got a cool “thanks” and she went to bed and shut the door. I slept on the couch that night and we did not get “cosy” for a while after that. The truth is, women really do care about these holidays. I know this may sound a bit crass, but I think it is fair to say most would like us to do something for them on Feb.14.

My wife told me she felt a gift or a special action, was a symbol of appreciation for her and all she does for our home and family. I felt pretty stupid and embarrassed, and I’m not a guy who likes to admit those things. So, my message today to the guys is: Go get a card, some flowers, their favourite treat, or maybe if they have a hobby, get them something related to that. More of us need to do something. Thanks, Miss L.

— Finally Got It, St. Norbert

Dear Thanks: It was generous of you to share your embarrassing situation, and what you learned. No doubt things will go much better for you and your wife in gift-giving situations now that you’ve talked openly and you really understand. Romance is important to many people — both male and female — and marriage is no guarantee these days.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend wants two kittens for Valentine’s Day. I asked around at work and found a woman with a pregnant mama cat. Their family knows the male cat who “did the magic.” Because I have no real kittens in a basket for her yet, I cut out kitten pix from a cat magazine, and put them in a big card, along with the phone number of the lady with the pregnant cat I’ve contacted, and made a “reservation for two.” Think the pictures will do?

— New Boyfriend, River Heights

Dear New Boyfriend: Your girlfriend will be delighted, and she’ll probably be able to pick out the two kittens she likes best, when they arrive. Perhaps the woman from your work will let her visit here and there, until the kittens are ready to take home.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I received something unexpected in my mail recently. It was a Valentine from an old flame from college. He said he’s “single again” and has never forgotten me, and wondered if we could have chat on Valentine’s Day. He gave me his cell number to call.

I’m single with no children and remember him as being a nice guy I dated for a few months at age 19, until he moved away to finish university in another province. Now he’s living back here. What do you think about calling him? Should I or shouldn’t I?

— North Kildonan

Dear Should I: Yes, do it! Why not, out of curiosity more than anything? How exciting! At best you will have the start of some great chats, and maybe meet one day when it’s COVID-safe.

At worst, it will be boring and a bit stilted, and after you catch up on what you did with your lives so far, you’ll say bye-bye, and get on with your day, with a little smile on your lips. How many people get to hear from their old flames on Valentine’s Day?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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