Put some genuine heart into DIY Valentine’s card

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/02/2021 (2017 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I finally found a beautiful person to fix my lonely heart in the middle of the pandemic. Unfortunately, I lost my job and don’t have money to spare for a Valentine’s gift. On top of that, we have only been going out a short while and if I declare love for her, it’d be jumping the gun. If I give her nothing, we might go backwards.

What can I do for a few dollars that’s honest and sweet and will impress her? By the way, I’m 21 and she’s 22, so we’re not babies. We are living back with our parents now, due to finances.

— COVID Cupid Problem, Windsor Park

Dear Cupid Problem: Here’s an idea for a Valentine gift that could outclass and outlive a lot of expensive cards and gifts from the stores: Make your new lady a list of things you admire and enjoy about her — from five to 10 items.

You’ll just need white paper or the back of some coloured wrapping paper.

You first cut a big heart shape out of it, and on the plain side, list in coloured marker (red, if possible) those things you admire so much. Some can start with “The way you…” as in “The way you smile with your eyes,” or just name a virtue, such as honesty, kindness or sense of adventure, or something physical like “your beautiful hair, your kisses.” Get the picture?

These homemade cards of praise are often kept forever, even if the relationship doesn’t turn out to be the final one. Your relationship is so new, you probably haven’t been saying “I love you” yet, so sign it with “Valentine Kisses.” And if you can afford a little bag of cinnamon hearts or chocolate candies, so much the better.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I need to break up ASAP, but I accidentally saw a wrapped gift that is shaped like a ring box. It could be an engagement ring. What should I do about this? We are living together, but in my mind, not for very much longer. Help!

— Worried Sick. St. James

Dear Worried Sick: If you don’t want to be engaged, don’t accept the ring. You can look at it and praise his taste, but don’t put it on, or even wear it for a short time and then turn around and give it back.

You know already you’re ready to break up with him. Depending on the policy and the store, often a buyer can return a new ring in perfect condition with all the papers within 30 days of purchase. If the box you saw turns out to hold a necklace or earrings or a bracelet, that’s something else. But an engagement ring is serious — an acceptance of a proposal to marry.

Yes, it could be awkward if it’s an engagement ring, but don’t either of you try to pretend it’s “just a friendship” ring to save face. You have admitted you’re close to the end of this relationship. It’s time for you to get honest about moving apart. It’s uncomfortable for you already, and really unfair to this person who’s in love with you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last year I got Valentine’s flowers again from an ex-boyfriend who won’t give up. Every February, he gives it another shot, and it’s been five years. This is a guy who professed great love, and then I found out he was cheating on me.

The flowers are expensive, but the notes are lighthearted, like “Got over our little fight yet? Still love ya!” He’s a rich man and can afford to throw away his money amusing himself, I guess.

If he does it again this year, what response should I give him, to get him to finally stop? It’s not funny, and it’s never been funny. I hate it and get a bad feeling in my stomach when I see them.

— Flower Harassment, Tuxedo

Dear Flower Harassment: If Valentine flowers arrive from him again, tell him you give them away immediately every year to someone else.

But don’t phone as him, as he’d just love to hear your voice! Send him a note by email, saying the unwanted flowers are a form of harassment, since you broke up years ago. Warn him you will call your lawyer if it ever happens again.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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