Country cohabitation was all about convenience

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This article was published 09/03/2021 (2000 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new live-in was never overly fond of my beloved cats and dogs, but he could ignore them, before he joined me to live on my new acreage. I moved there a year ago because I love to grow vegetables and flowers, plant fruit trees and have freedom for my pets. It was my dream, and he was the handsome young prince, at least on the outside.

It turns out he secretly hates my animals! Yesterday, I heard him say to his buddy on the phone, when he didn’t realize I’d come home from work, that he has plans to kick them out. He said, “I’m tired of having a bunch of dumb animals in the house with us. As soon as it’s warmer, they’re out.”

I came around the corner and said, “Get off that phone! You’ll be out before they are.” He’s out of work and would have to go back to his parents with his tail between his legs. He started to backtrack and tried to pet the dog nearest to him, who growled. The other dog cowered, which told me a lot I must have been missing.

He packed and left, just like that. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry these days. And what’s wrong with me that I thought I was in love with this guy, and yet my love died in one minute?

— Fickle-Hearted Woman? North of Winnipeg

Dear Fickle: You didn’t feel the pain of a real lovers’ breakup because there was no real love there to lose. Perhaps, when you invited this guy to move in with you (during this lonely COVID winter) you called it “love” when it was really welcome company on the acreage, and a physical attraction.

Yes, you could have avoided this trouble if you’d allowed yourself to ask the man about his feelings for animals before he moved in. But would he have told you the truth?

He’s gone now, but you’re far from alone. Phone all your friends and extended family and reconnect via apps, where you can see each other as you talk. Your animals will be glad to see the tail end of that guy, and to get back out walking and playing with just you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wonderful husband is an only child and has a fabulous career that supports us easily. When we got married, we both shared the same dream of having many children — maybe six of them.

My first two pregnancies were a breeze, but the last one was hard. I really don’t want to go through that again. Seriously, I want to quit having babies, and that’s the sad truth.

I don’t know how to break it to my husband that I can’t endure another pregnancy like the last one. How do I tell him I no longer share the dream of six babies, and want to stop now?

— Not Up for Number Four, Winnipeg

Dear Not Up: Do you know for sure your husband still has that dream? Or are things so busy with the kids you have now that he may also be having second thoughts?

It’s time for a reality check, and the end to keeping your heavy secret. It’s not your fault you had a hard time with the last pregnancy and don’t want to take a chance on another like that. And now you have a lively middle-sized family to enjoy.

If you two later decide you want another child, perhaps you could adopt. But for now, once the secret is out, hopefully you can relax and just enjoy the three children to the max, giving them lots of attention.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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