Post-lockdown fears understandable, treatable

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/07/2021 (1853 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m normally a very outgoing person. I was one of those people who couldn’t wait for life to get back to “normal” and put the pandemic behind us. Well, things have changed. Now that things are starting to open up, I feel anxious. When friends ask me to go out, I’m always making excuses. I don’t even want anyone to come into my place.

I should add, I work from home now and am not looking forward to going back to the office. I’ve had both my first and second vaccinations and they clicked in almost a month ago.

People keep saying these are unprecedented times, so who is to say my behaviour is wrong? My husband, for one!

— Scared Rabbit, West Kildonan

Dear Scared: When in doubt, wear your mask and don’t let friends pressure you. You’re coming out of the safe harbour at home, but if you find you’re so terrified you simply can’t come out of the house, then you may need to see a psychologist for the condition called agoraphobia (fear of the world outside your home). Call your doctor for a referral if you’d like to get some help.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m so mad I could spit! My widowed mother, who is in her late 50s, recently went off the deep end over a gambler 15 years younger than she is. By the look of things, he has nothing left to lose, but Mom has everything to lose.

She has a paid-for house and two vehicles, plus savings and investments. He has a full head of hair, a pumped-up body, an unimportant day job and a gambling habit.

I pulled in the back of her property by the pool fence when he was moving in, and he had all his worldly possessions in a van. That tells the whole story! How do I save my mother from losing everything she has?

— Worried Sick Son, Southdale

Dear Worried Sick: Call your lawyer and mom’s money manager or accountant. Tell them what’s up and that your mother may need to make arrangements to be protected from this gambler.

Also, get yourself educated on all the ways a person could lose their money to a gambling addict. The Manitoba chapter of Gamblers Anonymous could offer helpful information (gam-anon.org/meeting-directory/canada-meeting-directory/manitoba).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been with my girl for about three years and we always had this thing where we were OK with sleeping with other people, so long as we always came home to each other. We are humans. As I see it, humans are not meant to be with only one person forever.

Maybe that works for some guys, but not me.

But, my partner and I stopped the practice of including other casual sex partners in our lives when COVID hit. COVID is starting to lift, and I told my lady we could soon loosen the sexual strings. She suddenly teared up, and got a stormy look on her face!

What the heck? She told me she’s angry about our situation, and I asked her what changed. She wouldn’t talk, and it’s been dead quiet around here. It’s been a week and I really miss her being fun and pleasant in the house. I miss her kindness. How can I get back to how things were?

— What Happened to my Life? Downtown

Dear What Happened: Your live-in girlfriend hit a deeper stage of love during the COVID period of monogamy. She gave her trust and her vulnerability to you and is “in love” now. Meanwhile, you can’t wait to get out and get busy with other partners!

Fear and jealousy have kicked in, and those emotions are hurting her. So do her the favour of telling her the truth (if you’re not as deeply in love) so she can say goodbye and find someone who truly loves her back.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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