Grandparents must evolve to stay involved

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/12/2021 (1678 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My grandparents are racist — there’s no other way to say it. They are quieter about it when I’m in the room, as it bothers me and they know it. I’m seriously seeing an Indigenous man now, and I’m nervous about the New Year’s Day dinner, as we may have something to announce to our families.

My grandparents will be there and could make faces and mutter their usual crap (Grandpa is the worst) if I don’t do something. Grandma is the easier to talk to, if it’s a good day. What should I do? I’m 26, so not a little girl, and I won’t put up with sour faces and muttering anymore.

— Fed Up with Racism, West End

Dear Fed Up: You don’t have much time, so call Grandma ASAP! Tell her about your man — his personality, his talents, his work and his family. Present him as the multifaceted person he is, and let her know if they wish to continue to be involved in your life, their views must evolve.

Tell her to fill Grandpa in, and stress that sour faces and racist muttering between them is simply unacceptable. (She may think you don’t notice them doing it.) Tell your grandparents you love them, and that you’re counting on them to learn to accept others as a matter of basic respect.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Help! I don’t have a clue what to do with the kids for New Year’s Eve. My husband and I had Christmas figured out — no problem following traditions. But, because of COVID, we’re staying put this New Year’s Eve, in our big old house with our half-grown kids.

I want to make it special, so that means not watching TV or playing computer games all night. Got any old-fashioned ideas for us?

— Mom Needing Help Quick! Wolseley

Dear Mom: A fun old game to play is charades. You split into two teams of two or more. Team members take turns picking phrases out of a basket and can only use hand signals and silent acting to reveal the words to their own team. For rules, ideas for phrases, and hand gestures, check online at cs.umd.edu/users/nau/misc/charades.html. If you can go outside, making snow angels or a fancily dressed-up snowman could be fun.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography