Sunny getaway could rock your love boat

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/01/2022 (1662 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m losing my mind from not being able to travel due to COVID. I’ve stayed home two winters now and haven’t gone south with my snowbird friends. I could have gone earlier this fall, but chose not to because my husband said he was staying put. But now, I’ve had it. I hate the constant snowfall and deep cold. Will it never end?

My husband doesn’t care, because he’s an athlete and into cross-country skiing and snowshoeing. I don’t share his outdoor winter passions. I love the sunshine and warmth with all my friends down south by the pool. I hear from them online and can see them on their loungers with cocktails!

Yesterday, I told him I’m going when Omicron has receded, and I don’t care if he comes with me or not! He gave me a dirty look I don’t care to translate. My husband is a very good-looking and successful man in his 50s. Although he loves me and doesn’t go out hunting for women, they tend to gravitate towards him. I’m afraid to leave him alone here in “Winterpeg,” but I’m determined to make a plan of some kind to travel south ASAP, to soothe my soul. What do you think?

— Suffering Sun Baby, River Heights

Dear Sun Baby: You’re rocking your personal love boat. You and your handsome man and your relationship were healthy — until you announced your plan.

If you take off without him, he’ll be angry and worried — and lose respect for you. What if you get sick with COVID down south? And, what if he gets it back home, and you were away, frolicking in the ocean with your friends?

The only safe travel plan right now is no plan. You’d be smarter to stop pouting, learn to snowshoe and plan a sunspot trip together with your husband for when things have stabilized.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My “wife” moved to town to her mother’s house, supposedly to look after the old lady during the COVID scare. Her mother is not sick in the least, but my wife has been there for over a year now.

She doesn’t come back to our house on the farm for anything, at least not when I’m around. All her clothes and personal things are long gone now.

I have to go to town to her mother’s place to see my wife’s face — or half of it. Her mother makes me wear a double mask the whole time I’m there, as the two of them do.

I’ve never been cruel to my wife (she’s my second), but she has gone from a quiet, passionate woman, to a cold and silent one. I’m not a big talker myself, having lived on a farm all my life. She doesn’t seem to care about me anymore, or her beautiful home in the country.

I told her in front of her mother that I miss my wife, and I want her home! Again, my wife just shrugged her shoulders. That’s all she does now — hardly speaks at all. There’s no way to deal with her.

I’m not a man who would force her to do anything, but enough is enough. What should I do?

— Frozen-out Husband, Manitoba

Dear Frozen: It’s obvious your wife doesn’t want to be with you anymore, for some reason. She doesn’t even hazard a conversation with you. Is she afraid of you?

It seems the marriage is over for her, and she isn’t able to say that out loud. It may be a problem she has with your behaviour, or a problem with living in the country out on a farm which can feel lonely and desolate to some people, particularly in the winter.

The bottom line? You two have been apart for a year, she’s taken all her clothes and personal things, and she clearly doesn’t want any real interaction with you. It’s time to make it easier for everybody. Tell her on the phone you’re ready to call it quits, and you’ll be talking to a lawyer to make the breakup formal, and working toward a divorce.

Suggest your wife also sees a lawyer of her own, who can speak with yours. Somebody has to communicate from that side, and it’s not going to be your wife.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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