Facts of life before fashion with teen son

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/03/2022 (1332 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The other day I was lecturing my precocious 15-year-old on proper dress for school. He’s started wearing tight V-necks with no undershirt, and “going commando” — jeans with no underwear. He refuses to wear the “tightie whities” I bought for him, even though it’s freezing cold out. And then he shocked me by saying, “Mom, don’t you know that sex sells?”

I choked on my coffee! Do you think he could be actually having sex at barely 15? Should I be worried about this or was he just joking? He’s a good-looking young guy and has had several girlfriends in the last number of months, so he’s really spreading the charm around.

— Nervous Mom, Winnipeg

Dear Nervous: If your son had something to hide, he probably wouldn’t have made such a brazen comment. That’s not to say he hasn’t had sex at 15. Rather than lecturing him on his lack of underwear, you might consider giving him a helpful lecture on unplanned parenthood and how best to prevent it.

Yes, he will be shocked. But, you should also know this: some parents of teenagers put a large number of condoms in a special place, should their teenagers need them, with the promise not to be keeping count. Food for thought!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My problem is my clumsy self. I trip over my own feet, quite literally. I’m a bit of a daydreamer, and I must admit I often walk while looking up at the sky.

Winter is the worst when I’m blinded by white snow at midday, which is when I get a break from work and can go out on walks.

My dear husband is afraid I’m going to fall and get run over by a car. I can’t stay in the office eight hours running or I will go mad.

— Not an Option, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Not an Option: Getting flattened by a car isn’t an option either. Talk to an eye specialist about tinted glasses and perhaps a special prescription. Confess your lack of eye-and-foot co-ordination as well. Until you get this sorted out, walk in a small park with a friend who can take your elbow, rather than sharing the street with motorists and towering snowbanks.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I convinced myself I was “in love” with the man my parents picked out as a second husband for me. I’d stopped trusting myself after my first husband turned out to be an alcoholic. This new guy was the son of my parents’ best friends — sober, gentlemanly manners and a really good job. A boring guy, but he made good money. Sadly, there was no fizz or excitement on either my side or his — so it was a no-go.

That was followed by two lonely years of COVID. So, now what should I do as things are opening up? I’m a pretty, single woman in my 30s who wants kids and a family while I can still have them. Can you help? As my parents like to remind me, I’m…

— Not Getting Any Younger, Southdale

Dear Not Getting: Finding the right kind of man at any age has more to do with showing off your true than writing down a list of must-have characteristics and going out hunting for “Mr. Right.”

If you’re sporty, get re-involved in the sports you love. If you’re musical or into theatre, get into classes, plays or being an extra for movies filmed in Winnipeg. If art is your thing, paint outside on beautiful days where people can watch you and talk to you.

If you enjoy working with children, get involved with a school or daycare, even part-time. Single dads will notice your love of kids. If you’d like to race cars, fly airplanes or ride horses, get actively involved. If you love baking sweet creations, offer to bake for people’s birthdays and anniversaries.

No matter how unusual your passion is, you’ll meet people who “get” you when you’re doing whatever you truly love to do. It showcases the essential you, and you don’t have to chase anybody down.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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