Go your separate ways for summer

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/04/2022 (1575 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I lost it last night because my girlfriend told me out of the blue she’s moving out to “cottage country” for four months to work. She’s going in May, leaving me behind. She doesn’t even seem to care.

I got tears in my eyes for a few minutes. She looked at me like I was from outer space.

She finally said, “Well, it’s been a long time since I saw a boy cry.” I’m not a boy, by any stretch. We’ve been having sex and I thought we were in love.

She said, “I’ll be back before September” and I replied, “Good for you!” She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to wait.

What can I do now? I’m still in love with her.

— More Hurt than Mad, Winnipeg

Dear Hurt: This girlfriend has shown you by getting this job secretly that she isn’t as deeply into the relationship as you are.

She’s not feeling the love and she’s going off on an adventure. In fact, she’s self-absorbed enough to wonder why you aren’t happy for her.

The best thing you can do now is match commitment at her level. That means you’re not an exclusive pair, and not promising to be true all summer.

Don’t hang around with her too much before she departs. Tell her the relationship’s off, and you “may see about things” when she gets back, but for the summer you’re both free.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been working out — not for myself, but in the hopes my chubby wife will do what I’m doing and finally lose some excess weight.

I love her, but she’s really let herself go the last year. I figured I’d lead by example. I’ve lost 13 pounds now. But she looks bigger than when we started.

I feel like she isn’t “getting it” and I should just talk to her frankly and get her weight problem out in the open. My best buddy says my wife will feel embarrassed and possibly withdraw from me sexually.

What do you think?

— Working Out’s Not Working, St. James

Dear Not Working: There’s nothing more stressful than having your love partner look at your body critically. On top of that, you’re hinting your wife should follow your shining example!

You’re not being an inspiration. Rather, you are an irritant to your wife. She may even be eating treats to spite you. Back off, and love her for all the good things she is now. Imagine what life would be like without her and start appreciating her again.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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