Family fun night calls for fatherly fairness

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This article was published 14/04/2022 (1613 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every Sunday we have “family fun night” at our house. I order dinner in and we even eat off of paper plates — no clean-up work for me. In the beginning, it was such a beautiful, bonding time for us.

However, the last couple of family fun nights were not fun at all. I didn’t address it, but I caught my husband cheating — and more than once. We are both very competitive, but I’d never have thought he’d cheat his kids to win!

Now I don’t want to take part in family fun night anymore, and my husband is calling me a “party pooper” in front of our teenagers. It looks like I’m the one who’s stopping family night.

It’s taking everything I have not to say why I don’t want to be part of the games. I know if I confront him, he’ll deny it and the fight will be on.

Should I just ignore his cheating for the sake of family time? Am I overreacting?

— Family Night Ruined, North Kildonan

Dear Ruined: Take your husband to task over this, and you could save family night for everyone. Keeping silent is allowing his cheating to stop this wonderful time for the whole family. And, think about this: you may not have been the only one to see him cheating! He needs to stop. Keeping it to yourself is not helping anything.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I lost my temper, kicked the old sofa hard and broke my toe on the wood trim. I had to get medical help and ended up bandaged up. My kids thought this was hilarious.

When I talked to one of their teachers on the phone yesterday, she said “By the way, how’s your toe?” It turns out my son announced it to the whole class! I didn’t know how to react, so I tried to laugh it off. I felt like an idiot and I still do. What must that teacher think of me? I’m not the least bit violent!

— Mortified Mom, River Heights

Dear Mortified: Teachers in the early grades hear far more alarming reports than a furniture-kicking story. Obviously, this teacher was amused enough to kid you — and not worried you’re a violent parent. One thing you’ve learned out of this is that little ones will tell it like it is. This story had a kicker of a punch line, bound to get laughs. It could not be ignored!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing in regards to your reply to “Difficult Sex Life” (the couple who desperately need alone time for some intimate encounters). You ended by suggesting “Grandma or Auntie” have the kids for a sleepover.

Please don’t overlook the many grandpas and uncles who would love quality time with their little relatives. Plenty of them are just as capable as a woman.

We need to stop perpetuating the archaic attitude that only women can or should have to watch the kids. It short-changes everyone.

— About Time for Equal Time, Manitoba

Dear Equal Time: Good point! There are lots of great guys of all ages who could do a good job of babysitting or child care, making it a fun experience for the kids who’d enjoy the interaction. Dads on the playground often get right into the action and participate with kids more than moms do. It’s possible grandpas, uncles and nephews don’t think to offer because they’re not often asked. It’s time parents started asking who might actually be interested.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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