Don’t confront ‘nudist’ neighbour; opt for curtains

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/02/2023 (953 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a new neighbour in his 20s, whose bathroom and big bedroom window is across from one side of my old house. He moved in about a month ago. He comes home most at around 6 p.m., when it’s getting dark out, and he turns on all the lights as soon as he gets in. Then he strips down, and walks around the house with his big dog following him.

Miss L., he may know what he’s doing, or he may be totally innocent, although sometimes he walks right up to the window facing my house, and I can see him. My best friend came over to watch with me last Friday and she said, “Either he’s a frustrated nudist who can’t go out in the cold, or he’s strutting his stuff for you to see!”

I must admit he has quite the physique, though I’m not watching him every night. Maybe he’s totally innocent and doesn’t realize he can be seen by neighbours at night. How should I handle this? Should I put an anonymous note in his mailbox?

— Nudist’s Neighbour, Wolseley

Dear Nudist’s Neighbour: This whole thing could be easily handled by closing your own curtains!

Look, this is a young guy. While a few exhibitionists enjoy flaunting their naked charms from windows, most young guys don’t give putting up curtains much thought, especially when they’ve just moved in. If you want to meet this new neighbour — and it seems you do — don’t start by dropping an unsigned note in his mailbox, saying he needs curtains. He’ll know exactly who did it.

If you become the “friend next door” this spring (only a couple months away), you could mention he might want to put up some curtains, as “some of the neighbours” can be snoopy. That should get a laugh out of him — and possibly some belated curtains!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife came home with a new job and we celebrated with seafood, champagne and her favourite dessert. We barbecued on the deck and pretended we were in Mexico, where we first met on holiday. Then she finally told me the amount of her new salary, and I had to catch my breath. It was much higher than her raise half a year ago, and now she’s making more than I do.

I gulped, and almost didn’t congratulate her. Why? I’m jealous of her good fortune, that’s why. I love her and should be happy for her, but part of me is not. I’m competitive and my secret feeling was that I wanted to get a bigger raise, and beat her out.

I studied a lot longer than she did to get the pay I work so hard for in my medical career. She’s in business — a natural sales person and a real go-getter. My earnings are not going to rise by leaps and bounds. I feel like a jerk for having the desire to beat my wife out in the money department.

She told me enthusiastically she wants to sock away a bunch of money, do some smart investing and then have a baby, or three! How do I shut up that petty little voice inside of me that feels snarky about her salary?

— Jealous Husband, Tuxedo

Dear Jealous: When your wife becomes pregnant with children you helped create, you will have a heavy financial burden to carry for a time — or maybe for the entire span of the kids’ growing-up years. Perhaps your wife won’t want to go back to working full-time, or maybe not at all. Be glad your wife is earning big money and investing it now to help support the family you’re going to have in the future. In fact, give yourself a shake, and cheer that woman on!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has gotten himself re-involved in an oldies rock ’n’ roll band, after promising during the worst of COVID that he was finished with it for good. Now he and his band members are practising regularly, and even have some gigs coming up. At first, I was feeling alone and sorry for myself, but then I got an invitation to sing with a different group, and I took it!

My husband had the nerve to ask me last night why I wasn’t singing with them instead, and I said, “You guys didn’t invite me. Why was that?” His reply was slow in coming. “Uh, the other guys don’t have their wives with them in the band, so, uh, uh, uh…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence. I finished it for him: “Because a wife as a witness would spoil the flirting fun for all of you!” He couldn’t deny it. My question for you is this: At what age do male band members grow up?

— Married to a Musician, Winnipeg

Dear Married: Some band members are grown up and true to their partners right off the hop. They just need to make music for the natural high it gives them. Other musicians just want to be in a band for the image and admiration of people who think they’re hot, even if they’re not!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.