Break the ice with infatuation on Aisle 3

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This article was published 04/03/2023 (1261 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I grocery shop in the same store at the same time every week, for a good reason. I really like this guy who’s always there every Friday after work. It seems we’re both creatures of habit and like the same foods, particularly the chocolate cookies in the baking section.

We’ve started joking about it, saying things like, “Oh, it’s you again. Leave some of those chocolate cookies for me!”

It’s time I did something about this crush I have, but I’m shy and so is he — or maybe he’s taken? What should I do?

— Grocery Store Crush, North Kildonan

Dear Crush: Next time you’re joking around with him in the store, tell him your first name and ask for his. It’s the first thing people do when they start to be friends.

The next time you’re shopping, make sure you bang carts in the baking section. Then ask him casually, “Does your girlfriend like chocolate cookies as much as you do?”

He may reluctantly tell you what she likes, or say: “I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment.” If he doesn’t respond with any enthusiasm, it may mean he’s taken, or simply not interested.

At least, you made the effort, and you won’t waste time thinking, “What if I’d tried, and he was interested in me?”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My fiancé wants to go with his buddies — one being my big brother — on an adventure-travel trip of 10 days. I want him to stay home!

Our wedding is coming up this summer and I’m busy planning it, and I want him to stay here to help me with decisions and details. I really need his input. We fought about this last night and he had that stubborn look on his face.

He didn’t really want to get married this year, but I didn’t want to wait after he gave me the engagement ring at Christmas. If we have to wrestle each other to the mat over creating a wedding for both of us, I’m not sure he’s serious enough about getting married to me. What should I be doing about this mess?

— Alone With the Wedding Plans? Riverview

Dear Alone: Wedding plans don’t thrill most guys. Your fiancé may love you deeply and be very serious about marrying you, and still not be much interested in the plans — right up to the end.

You already know wedding event decisions could actually be made together by phone or texting. So what’s the real issue here? Are you afraid it’ll be one big bachelor party with lots of liquor and some willing women around?

Think this over, remembering your fiancé will have a big ol’ chaperone on this trip — your protective brother. He won’t be going on a “guys’ trip” that includes your bro to try to hustle other women.

So, take 10 days off the wedding planning, or if you want, keep on planning and consult your fiancé by text — but not every single day.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got a surprise phone call from a woman I dated, before I met my wife. Years ago, I dropped this woman abruptly, and hurt her — as soon as I laid eyes on the real love of my life.

Many years have passed, and my dear wife died just recently. I’ve gotten lots of caring calls, but this surprise call was the first I’d received from a single and available woman laying on the hints.

I should say “widowed woman” as her husband also died recently.

This lady has not been a friend of mine over the years. I just remember her as a fun, old girlfriend who loved golf, was very athletic and “nimble” one might say, in areas that count.

Now she wants to see me again, and I’m lonely and getting no affection. My best friend said, “Go for it, man! She’s in the same position as you are — just needs some company.” Should I?

—Tempted to Call, St. James

Dear Tempted: Your friend is forgetting the emotional aspect. You weren’t interested in this woman the first time around, and you rejected and hurt her. Now, she’s lost her life partner, and is even more vulnerable. Tell your buddy you refuse to be so insensitive and will not be calling her back for a date. Then you’d better remind yourself as well, a few times over.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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