Passionate blast from the past has no future

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/03/2023 (1242 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I literally ran into my old high school boyfriend (my big love from way back) in the hardware store recently. I crashed my cart into the front of his. He laughed when he saw me, and then grabbed me and kissed my forehead! For the two years we dated — grades 11 and 12 — he used to always do that when we’d first meet up, because he’s so tall and I’m so short.

We started laughing about the old forehead kiss, and that undid our defences.

He said, “C’mon, we might as well go for a drink. I can’t keep shopping now!” So we abandoned our carts right there, and just went. He says he’s happily married, but I’m definitely not! He says he married someone much like me, but with less of a temper. I married a nice guy, too, but he bores me stiff. He even refuses to argue with me.

My ex-boyfriend and I were a hot couple in every way — both sexually and fighting a lot. He finally left the city for a few years, to get away from me. I guess it was for the best. But still, to this very day, the magnetism between us is off the charts!

In fact, I must confess we did some hot necking in his car after too many drinks. But sadly, he hasn’t phoned me since. Help!

— Dying to See Him Again, Weston

Dear Dying: That necking session was just a walk down Memory Lane for him. He wants it to stay that way, or he would have called you. It may have been a big, fateful meeting for you, but one of trouble and guilt for him.

You’re not happy in your own marriage, so maybe this incident is the nudge you need to get help for your relationship — or to get out of it. Then you could look for someone more like your old boyfriend, but not as hot-tempered as you are. Together, you two spell trouble, and that’s why you broke up in the first place; he’s aware you still bring that same dynamic.

If you’re hoping to break up him and his wife up, be aware he’s not going to turn around and say, “I should have married you, and now we have a second chance together.”

He’s more likely to say, “I wish I hadn’t run into you, because now I’m feeling guilty.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a shy guy and I’ve just discovered I’m dating a kleptomaniac. She’s very sweet and a bit religious, but sadly I just discovered she takes things. I’m not saying she’s a thief exactly, because she just picks up little things that aren’t necessarily valuable, and pockets them.

I accidentally bumped her jacket off the back of my kitchen chair the other night and some stuff spilled out of her pocket on to the floor — including things taken from my bedroom. There was a little ornament my mom gave me that’s sentimental for me, and also some cufflinks from when I was a boy going to church on Sundays. These are just little trinkets — things a crow would pick up, and take back to its nest.

I didn’t say anything as I picked my things up from the floor. She left quickly. How do I approach her about this, or do I just stop seeing her and not say why? It’d be very awkward to confront her. Please help. — Accuse Her, or Not? West End

Dear Accuse: Continuing to date this person would be difficult, and you could get in trouble as well, if she pilfers things from your family, friends or from public places you went together. Kleptomaniacs often find it impossible to resist strong urges to steal an item they don’t even need. Consider calling her and talking to her gently, as a friend would do.

Quietly point out the evidence — that she stole your cufflinks and the ornament, and ask her how long she’s had this problem. Find out if she’s been getting any professional help. If she hasn’t, let her know a psychiatrist could help her and provincial health would cover the sessions, but she’d need to see her regular doctor first, for a referral.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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