Sozzled social media assessments point to problem

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/12/2023 (959 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was really lonely and got drunk as a skunk on Christmas Eve. In the wee hours, I was looking for trouble and Facebooked the three major ex-girlfriends in my life. I spelled out what was good about them — and what was their biggest loser quality!

I thanked them all for their time in my life, and being a fair person, I invited them to write me back. I heard from two of them. The first one said, “You’re such a bad alcoholic, and won’t face up to it.” And, my second ex said, “You always think you’re right, but you’re just an opinionated drunk, who won’t get help!”

Those women are talking through their hats! I don’t drink every day, and I don’t need help. I just need a decent girlfriend, who doesn’t drive me to drink.

— Unfairly Accused, Fort Garry

Dear Accused: It’s the beginning of a new year, and you’re lonely and upset. Now would be a good time to identify and deal with the problems you have connecting with women.

Since you already know alcohol got in the way of happy relationships with two of three old girlfriends, consider contacting a counsellor at Alcoholics Anonymous (aamanitoba.org) and ask about setting up an assessment.

You might also make an appointment with your medical doctor, who can help you understand the extent of your problem with alcohol and impacts on your health. The possible issue with these assessments? You’ll have to be completely honest, which is hard to do when you may want an outcome that reveals you do not have a problem.

Bottom line? You need to do something to assess your drinking now. Don’t bother pushing for the third ex to chime in. She’s not talking, and if she did, it might not be as polite as the two who responded to you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On Boxing Day, I ran into a former best friend in the mall, when I was returning gifts. She came at me with a glint in her eye, and said, “Not surprised to see you here! Out returning gifts?”

I blushed and lied, denying I was out cashing in on my gifts again this year, but she knew she’d caught me! That was one of the things that broke our friendship up. I didn’t want the expensive handbags I got from her at Christmas and birthdays, or clothes that never fit me, but were “designer wear.” I lived on my own, and needed money to buy basic things like food, clothes and bus tickets.

She said, “Some things never change, do they? Have a nice life!” and walked off. How should I have handled this? I feel so awkward with people like her.

— Not Made of Money, Fort Rouge

Dear Not Made of Money: It’s too bad this former friend caught you cashing in her gifts when you were close, as that must have hurt her feelings. Still, she was out at the mall herself the day after Christmas hitting all the sales — or perhaps making gift returns. Who knows? Maybe she learned something from you, but she wouldn’t be in a hurry to admit as much.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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