It’s best you don’t engage with off-the-wall ex

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This article was published 05/01/2024 (953 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was at home taking it easy after Christmas, and there was a ding on my apartment intercom. It was a good friend’s voice, so I let him in.

Unfortunately, he’d been out drinking and had two people with him. One of them was my weird ex-girlfriend from five years ago. My face fell when I saw her and she said, “Uh-oh, this was mistake. I should go.”

I had my mouth open to say, “Yes, please go!” when my buddy said, “Cool off, you two! We’re all adults now. Let bygones be bygones.”

I felt it was probably a mistake, but I let it go and they all stayed.

A few minutes later, my ex excused herself and went to use my washroom. She was gone too long! When she finally came out, she suggested they leave right away, and they did. After they left, I went straight into my bedroom, and some things were out of place. I looked around for a bit, and then I figured it out — she’d stolen a picture of me off the wall!

I don’t know what to do now. I want that picture back, but I don’t want to see her again. She creeps me out. I don’t want my picture to be up on her wall of shame. Please advise.

— Wanting My Photo Back! Osborne Village

Dear Wanting Photo Back: Your buddy owes it to you to go over to your old girlfriend’s place, and demand the stolen photo back. She may be hoping you will come after it in person, and then she’ll be able to see you in private once again. Don’t give her the pleasure — or yourself the pain. This is not an emotionally healthy person.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife wanted me to buy her a small second-hand car for Christmas. I made the mistake of not telling her ahead of time she wasn’t getting one. Instead, I bought her a deluxe-model washer and dryer set, with all the bells and whistles.

I wrapped up all the glossy info booklets in Christmas paper, with a card telling her it’d be delivered the first business day possible. She got tears in her eyes, but not of happiness. I quickly explained this was much more practical, with our kids being so young.

She cried, “That washer and dryer will be a good thing for you, because you’ll be doing the laundry as much as I am. Why’s that? Because I’m going crazy trapped at home with no wheels.”

Then she added: ”I loved my job, and my boss is always asking when I’ll be coming back —now I know when!”

I forgot how fast she could move on a decision. Today she announced she’s going back to work afternoons, starting in a month, and she’s hired the woman who babysits for us to be our half-time nanny.

Then I really lost it. I yelled, “Am I wrong to believe kids need their mother at home?” She said, “I know one thing. They sure don’t need a depressed mother at home!”

Another problem is we haven’t made love since before the fight, and my beautiful wife’s been sleeping in the spare room. I love her more than anything. Now what?

— Losing on all Fronts, River Heights

Dear Losing: In important love relationships, it’s good to know when it’s time to cave in. That time is now! The nanny/babysitter is already hired, and the woman you love has been guaranteed her old job back.

Your best move now would be to buy your wife a safe car for her to get to work and back, and to keep your children safe and warm on trips around town. The big win here? Your wife will be happy, and your ailing relationship will warm up again, hopefully in every way.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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