Accept aunt’s offer and finish school free of chaos

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I heard my mother slap my father across the face last night! I still feel sick about it. I couldn’t hear what he said to her before that, because his voice was muffled, but it was likely some nasty names, if I know him! My parents are both disgusting.

My mother goes out to bars and drinks all Friday and Saturday night, then lies around hungover on Sunday, and goes back to work on Monday. Eight hours later, she comes home from work all “mightier than thou” and tells Dad off for whatever he’s not done at home. “Get a job!” is how she finishes.

I’m so sick of both of them. I want to leave home and go live with my aunt in Winnipeg, but I’m afraid for my dad. My mom might actually full-out beat him up one day, and she’s a lot bigger and stronger than he is.

My question? My aunt in Winnipeg keeps asking me to come and live with her. I know she’d come and get me, anytime. I just turned 18, so I’m an adult now. Auntie has a good job, and promises I can have room and board for nothing.

I’m in Grade 12 this fall and want to get my high-school diploma and study to be a nurse. I really don’t want to stay here in this terrible house.

— Ready to Take Off! Eastern Manitoba

Dear Ready: Since you’re 18, you could just leave, as some kids do, but that’s still so young. Instead, call your aunt, who really wants to help you. Give her the full details of what’s been going on, and ask her to check with authorities beforehand on how to make the move. You don’t need furious parents claiming your aunt grabbed you!

Your aunt can help you get enrolled in a new high school near her. Be sure to make use of any career and personal counselling you can get there, so you can concentrate on your schoolwork.

If you do well in Grade 12, you’ll be able to train as a nurse and fulfil your dream. That could be financed by applying for grants and bursaries, and possibly getting help from your aunt. Good luck with that!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our parents, as a gift, let my brother and I have the family cabin for the second-last weekend in August. We made full use of it by partying and having friends stay over instead of driving home drunk on the highway.

Things generally went well, except for the fact I woke up in the morning in bed beside a girl who was not my girlfriend.

My real girl was back in the city working. Word got back to her as fast, and my sweet baby phoned me to say “Get out of my life, you creep!” She said, “There’s nothing that can explain away what you did with that girl” even though I don’t remember it much.

That girl in question claims she remembers very well, and we are “both guilty as sin.”

I just want my old girlfriend back. I love her! Please help me get her back.

— Sorry Now, south Winnipeg

Dear Sorry Now: Your apologies didn’t work with your girlfriend, so it’s time to give up. She’s hearing stories and is feeling humiliated and disgusted by you. Taking time off from partying would give you time to think about that a bit. So, consider getting serious about school, sports or creative pursuits, and find a part-time job this fall.

Then go and apologize to the girl you love, but don’t expect to be welcomed back into her arms right away, if ever! Casual friendship will be the best you can hope for, at least for now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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