Bit of creepy consultation could go a long way

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Halloween has always been my favourite time of year. I do my house up with lots of spooky lighting and characters on the lawn with eerie sounds booming out.

But last year I got seriously hassled by some people in the neighbourhood who thought it was too creepy. How do I get them on board this year? I don’t want to fight with them again.

— Want to Be Good Neighbour, River Heights

Dear Good Neighbour: Go to your close neighbours and explain what you want to do with your yard for Halloween this year, and also provide them with a firm time by which the celebrating will wrap up and things can quiet down.

You should also inquire if any neighbours would want to get involved with decorating your yard, and offer to help them with theirs. If they don’t want to get involved with Halloween fun, at least they’ll feel like you’re a decent person and approachable. Make sure to offer up some trick-or-treat goodies while you’re chatting with them. It will sweeten the mood and maybe help you make some new friends on your block.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner’s ex-wife bought a house on our street recently, right on our block. Apparently, this is becoming the thing to do these days for separated partners with children involved.

She doesn’t talk to my man much, but she’s playing up to me now and trying to gain my sympathies. What is her game?

She and my partner have three kids together, so I can see that it’s handy to live close to one another when they have to shuttle the children around for visits or activities. Still, why would she want to drive past her ex-husband’s abode with her new mate on a daily basis? I just don’t understand people’s motives sometimes. Please help me clear this up.

— Dumbfounded, West End

Dear Dumbfounded: This new living situation is almost certainly down to a desire for the kids to retain closeness with their father, but there’s a possibility it could also be about wanting to win her husband back from you. What does your partner say about his ex-wife and children moving so close to you?

Also, are the kids more settled now having all the family members just minutes away from each other? Finally, do the two people who once were married still care about each other at least as co-parents?

Hopefully, this situation will work out for everybody — particularly the children.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I have been dating for eight years and she still won’t take the next step and get married to me. While she points out that we get along beautifully as it is, I really want to make it legal. I want to be wed in a church and sign those dang papers. Call me old-fashioned.

What’s she worried about? I can’t dig out of her why she doesn’t want to take that last step with me. She won’t even go with me to see my pastor and talk about it. She also won’t wear an engagement ring, yet she knows I would like to buy her a beauty. What can I do next to somehow move this along?

— Nuptial Impasse, Southeastern Manitoba

Dear Love My Lady: You two need to talk about some of the marriages your girlfriend has witnessed — the good, the bad and the ugly. Somewhere in her family and friend group are marital relationships that have spooked her about getting married.

So play detective subtly and see if you can solve the mystery surrounding your partner’s aversion to tying the knot.

Hot tip: aunts are often good sources of personal information on family members.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got into a lot of trouble drinking and fighting in the past, so I finally gave that all up.

Now I’ve met a fun lady who likes to go out to parties and events, and she wants to take me along.

So I told her the bad news — I really can’t afford to go. If I do and see all those free cocktails being handed out, I know I’m going to take three at a time and chuck them back, and soon the trouble will start. What do you suggest for me?

— Sorely Tempted, Downtown

Dear Sorely Tempted: You’re showing some good sense, my friend. You do need a fun girlfriend, but not one on the cocktail party circuit or you’ll end up being thrown out of those bubbly events — and there could be a police cruiser waiting for you outside.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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