Sometimes group sex leads to a broken heart

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/01/2017 (3544 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m hurting like a dog who got hit by a truck. I fell in love so hard, I would do anything for this gorgeous woman. I sent her flowers, bought dinners and champagne and dressed up in a suit for her. She said she loved me, too. I confessed my life to her — even told her I had group sex.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, we were loaded and she asked for a threesome with me and this really good-looking buddy of mine at the party. I agreed. She’s a pretty lady, and he was willing.

Within 48 hours she told me she was sorry, but we were done. I phoned my friend and he told me she was chasing after him but he didn’t want her. “Take her off my back,” he said.

I hate her and I don’t want her back, except I feel like half my side where my heart used to be got ripped off. What is the cure for a broken heart? Please tell me, because I need to know.

— Hurting Bad, Winnipeg

Dear Hurting Bad: Finding out and accepting this wasn’t real love helps a little. This was infatuation, a wild attraction, maybe for both of you in the beginning, but it wasn’t serious love, where you actually know each other deeply. Yes, you were crazy about the persona she presented. Yes, you were happy and giddy with excitement. But real love has to be a two-sided, growing thing, as you get to know all of a person, good and bad. That takes time.

Love at first sight is really just attraction at first sight. Don’t let your thoughts of this woman tear you to pieces. There’s nothing wrong with you as a person, and you did nothing wrong except mistake infatuation for love. Also, you trusted a person you just met with no reason and you were so excited you poured everything on, immediately. You need to take the time to investigate.

Don’t give up on love! You’ll be a wonderful partner one day with a lady who is also seriously in love, and as much of a giver as you are.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend wants me to go skiing for a weekend and I said I didn’t want to, because it’s dangerous when you don’t know what you’re doing. I could break a leg.

He loves skiing and snowboarding and said he would pay for everything, including ski lessons both days, lift tickets, equipment and the motel. I still said no, and he gave me a look that worried me. Why should it be a deal-breaker if I don’t want to ski, even if it’s his favourite thing?

— Spoilsport Girlfriend? Tuxedo

Dear Spoilsport Girlfriend: The shocked look you got from him came from your not even being willing to try. You’re not going to die on the little bunny hill where everybody skis at first. With instruction, you will be fine.

Nobody who works at a ski hill wants to see an injury. It’s not just because of compassion — it’s because it’s bad for business. So they make doubly sure you get the best instruction possible.

If this fellow means a lot to you, then try it at least once. Then if you hate it, fair enough; you can go party in the ski chalet.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography