Timing has to be impeccable handling two female visitors

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This article was published 13/07/2017 (3043 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I thought I could juggle two out-of-town online romances with two great ladies, one my age and one younger. Now they both want to come and visit me using their own money. I thought I would be the one flying to see one or both, and be in control, but no — I like the spitfires and they take things into their own hot little hands. I still thought things could work out OK with them coming to see me one weekend after another at the end of July.

Then this morning I got a hot email from the younger one, who asked her boss for more time off and can stay six days instead of three. That means she leaves one morning and the next one arrives the next day, which seems too close for comfort. By the way, both relationships are just fun and casual at this point, but I know women, and they don’t like competition. Bad weather and a postponed flight could cause an overlap — and trouble. I had a nightmare about the three of us at the airport and I was trying to hide. I can feel my blood pressure going up. How can I handle this?

— Pushing It, North Kildonan

Dear Pushing It: Ask the one one coming to see you first to spend the last night at a hotel with a pool near the airport, and say goodbye to her there, very late at night. Go home and start getting some sleep and your head turned around for the next lady’s arrival. You’re going to need time off to swing this turnaround. It can be done, with a little luck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I work as a chef in Winnipeg, and had this attractive male employee working under me. He was often obnoxious and loved to get me going, yet he was wonderful with everyone else. One day he pushed me so far and I told him I was going to get him fired. He said, “Good, finally! Now we can get married.” I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Then he told me he was in love with me but couldn’t do anything about it because we work together.

He told me he saw me looking at him everyday, too. I told him that was nothing before he took me in his arms and kissed me in front of everybody in the kitchen. I couldn’t help it. I kissed him back and suddenly everybody was watching and a few started clapping.

He put down his apron and walked out, smiling. Then everybody was telling me that they knew he was in love with me.

He showed up at my little house that night, and insisted on coming in to apologize for making a scene. He brought me flowers he had ripped out of my front yard and had a bottle of wine. That was the first night, and we have been together ever since.

The question now is about my position of authority. Now my staff are not so disciplined because they have no fear of me. They tease me and I get all embarrassed. I used to be a real boss, but now I feel like I’ve lost my authority. Do I have to grin and bear it, or should I lay down the law?

— Losing Power, Winnipeg

Dear Losing Power: Take back your power, but with a sense of humour. When people tease you, just shrug and say, “Love is where you find it. Now get back to work! Then wink and say, “Maybe someday you will find love in this kitchen, too.” They’re not looking to disrespect you, just to tease you a little bit. Clearly they like you and are happy for you, but you are still their boss where work is concerned, so act like it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., MB, Winnipeg, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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