There’s a reason Christmas Eve is the brightest night of the year

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This article was published 24/12/2017 (3207 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Readers: tonight is Christmas Eve, one of my favourite nights of the year. Although it’s dark outside early now, the nights are full of colourful lights and beauty, especially this one. Thank you for reading my column and stopping me in my travels around town to say hello, introduce yourselves and wish me a happy holiday. I always enjoy meeting readers, and I wish you all the wonders of the holiday season.

The best gift I can give you is a lesson I learned on the internet recently, which had a great impact on me. A man wrote a list of all the bad things that had happened to his family in the past year, and it was long, including several deaths. A woman in the same family took his list and rewrote it in a more positive light — the way she saw those events. For instance, he was lamenting losing a parent, and this woman reminded him the man had had 95 good years, and went to meet his creator.

I’m not suggesting we all become super sweet Pollyannas, but if we at least ask ourselves if anything good came out of a bad experience, there’s a chance to bring our own mood back up. Mood is everything because it influences how much people like to be in our company, so consider giving this a whirl, and see how it works for you! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, everyone.

— Warmly, Miss Lonelyhearts

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Some people from broken families may have sad memories at Christmas, but I have a great memory about Dec. 24 that always comes back to me. My mom and dad had separated because of my father being away all the time driving a truck. My mom used to tell him he cared more about making money than his family.

They were miserable together because he was rarely home and they loved each other so much before his truck-driving job came along. After they split up, he was living at our grandmother’s and he would come to pick us kids up for a day every week or so when he was home. My parents would look at each other like sad dogs at the door.

That Christmas Eve, my dad was supposed to come over at 7 p.m. to bring our presents and my mother was all dressed up, as usual. Looking back, I think she was trying to impress him with what he had lost, and she still cared.

He no sooner got in the door than he burst out, “Hey, everybody! I got another job, and I’m going to be living in the city all the time.” My mother jumped right into his arms to congratulate him, and they had one of those five-minute kisses that go on and on.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize my father never did go home that night because he was there with my mom at 5 in the morning when we woke up to see if Santa had come.

Within a few days, dad had moved all his clothes back in and we were a reunited family from that time on. Santa couldn’t have brought us a better present: mom and dad loved each other again! I guess they never really stopped.

— Best Christmas Eve Ever, Winnipeg

Dear Best Christmas Eve Ever: It’s all about people, isn’t it? When the people problem is set right in your family, it’s the greatest gift of all, especially at emotional family occasions like Christmas, then everything else that happens is a bonus. It’s a wonderful time for forgiveness.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please write back to me on Dec. 24 as I never know what to do with myself on Christmas Eve now that my husband has passed, and my grown-up kids are at the other relatives. Tomorrow, we have a big dinner with one of my sons and the whole family, so I really shouldn’t be complaining, but Christmas Eve is always so lonely for me.

— Lonely Night of the Year, Crescentwood

Dear Lonely Night of the Year: Make it a special night! Be the Christmas Eve phone-call elf. Make a list of friends and relatives you won’t be seeing tomorrow at Christmas dinner, and start calling them on the day before as your new ritual. Keep it short and upbeat — under five minutes — so you can do the whole list. Your list should contain cousins, aunts, uncles, old neighbours you’re fond of, and also anyone you think might be lonely and could do with a call. Don’t make one complaint of your own though; you don’t want to start a pity party.

If you time it right, you could probably call 10 people in one night. So spend today lining up phone numbers beside their names and things you want to tell different ones.

Make it a festive and fun ritual. To set the scene, make yourself a hot drink and curl up with some Christmas treats, a cosy blanket, turn on one of the yule-log channels, put some Christmas music on, then start calling as soon as the sky gets dark and your Christmas tree lights go on. Light some candles if you don’t have a tree.

Now, have the start of many great new Christmas Eves. If you are a believer, there are many church services going on, starting at 4 p.m., all over the city, right up until midnight masses when the church bells are ringing. You might find somebody on your phone list who mentions how they would like to go with you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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