Can’t scream out L-word during big O

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This article was published 29/12/2017 (3202 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend calls me Princess. Nobody has ever called me Princess in my life and I am in my 40s. I used to get “Her Royal Majesty” sarcastically from my first boyfriend, who was such a weenie, he got bossed around by me pretty badly. This guy looks like a great big mountain man with a beard and wild hair.

He’s six-foot-four and not skinny, probably close to 300 pounds. Beside him, I do look small, and I’m a big girl. But he sometimes actually refers to me as little girl and I kind of like it. (Blush!) A couple of weeks ago, he picked me up in his arms and carried me into the house and set me gently down on the bed and then made mad, passionate love to me, as only he can do. I guess you can tell I’m hooked, but there’s one problem: he wants me to scream “I love you” when I orgasm, preferably with his name attached — and I can’t honestly say that, yet.

It’s only been two months. It takes me time to know if I love someone and I can’t say I love someone forever, if I don’t yet.

I don’t want to lose my mountain man, but I don’t want to tell a big fat lie either. I respect him too much to lie to him. — His Princess, Southern Manitoba

Dear His Princess: Ask him what would sound good to him now as feelings are building on both sides. He will look at you blankly at first because he’s let you know already he wants the screamed-out words, at the ultimate moment.

You’re the serious type. Explain that. Tell him he also needs to give serious thought to what that kind of talk means to you. Try to explain to each other exactly what your feelings are at this early date.

Maybe he would settle for something like “I’m wild/crazy/absolutely nuts” about you. Warning: don’t suggest anything with that insipid “like” word in it, no matter how many times you say, “very, very much” after it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m thinking of staging a big surprise on New Year’s Eve at our friends’ annual party and need your advice.

I want to get down on one knee and ask my girlfriend to marry me. She has always said she never wants to get married and live together with anyone, so I would propose an arrangement where we don’t actually live together. My girlfriend’s an artist and works nights and sleeps days and doesn’t want to feel pressured to do otherwise by any guy, who works 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. I’m an office worker, so my hours are set.

As it stands now, we live in our own two places, but there’s no marriage commitment. I want us to have the respect and commitment of being a married couple, though. We have lived like this for a long enough time and I love her with everything inside me. We spend weekends together and they are wonderful. I’m in heaven on those two days a week. She doesn’t even look at work when I’m there. I know she loves me.

I’m actually OK with not having kids; I just want to be her husband, lover, protector and best friend. She feels the same way about me, but she’s never replied when I start talking about a diamond ring. Then it gets awkward for awhile. Would it be a mistake to spring a ring on her for New Year’s Eve? There won’t be a wedding ceremony, just a forever ring and a promise between us in front of our friends. I already bought the ring and it’s a gorgeous antique that suits her style. — Anxious to Give the Ring, Downtown

Dear Anxious to Give the Ring: Yes, thrusting a big diamond ring at her at the New Year’s Eve party would be a big mistake. You would appear to be using the social pressure of friends standing there watching to give her a push. What if she doesn’t want your ring, but she still wants you? You would be pushing her to the wall, and she might push back, and run. What if it made her cry that she had to say no and humiliate both of you? What if she refused and you cried in front of the crowd? No, this is a decision that has to be made together — and privately.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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