Contractor using pipe for more than plumbing

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/03/2018 (3119 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live next door to a woman who is cheating on her husband with a contractor. My husband is getting a big kick out of it because he doesn’t like her.

The two of them have gotten into fights in the past about his tools all over our driveway, which borders their driveway and their manicured showpiece of a lawn. She’s a bit weird and has a mean temper.

My husband works evenings, so he’s home during the day. He’s really been enjoying the afternoon views when this guy, who comes to work on our neighbour’s kitchen renovation, shows up there. He’s seen the wife and this guy kissing and more. Their kitchen window is directly across from ours and my guy laughs at our holier-than-thou neighbour getting it on with the “tool man.”

My hubby can’t wait for it to warm up so he can be outside and give her a few shots about knowing her secret and how she better shut up about his tools on the driveway. If she’s crazy, isn’t that dangerous for him to do? — Not Laughing, Windsor Park

Dear Not Laughing: What the errant wife is doing may be nasty, but threatening to expose her affair could be dangerous if she’s unhinged and desperate enough. Your husband should look at her affair as an amusement to him and not turn the situation into a form of blackmail as in, “Shut up, or I’ll tell your husband about the contractor.”

As for his tools all over the driveway, buy him a tool chest on wheels he can slide them around easily.

It’s actually unlikely the woman next door is going to hassle your husband this year, now that her lover’s truck has been parked by your kitchen window all winter.

She may wonder if he saw something, since she and loverboy were not very discreet. Or maybe she’s so self-centred she never even thought about it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend acts like she’s conducting an orchestra when we’re making love. She says things like “more of that” or “lighter on that” or “faster” or “more like a feather stroke.”

I like her in many ways and she’s beautiful to look at, but what’s with all the directions?

I asked her and she said her body wants what it wants and she asks for it. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I may not be the best lover in the world, but I’m not the worst. Other women have had great orgasms (or maybe pretended they did). She’s fun in a lot of other ways, but going to bed with her is like going to school. We are about three months into this new relationship. What should I do? — Criticized in Bed, North Kildonan

Dear Criticized in Bed: You are not a dog in training. What about you and your body? Is she taking instructions from you on how to do it right? How would she like it if you were constantly interrupting the buildup of passion with your instructions?

Do you really want a person like this, who is all about herself when she gets into bed with you?

There’s a bossy, insensitive aspect to this woman that will no doubt carry over into other things you do together.

She likes her way, and she likes micromanaging. Keep your heart in check while you explore the beginning of this relationship, watch how she behaves in other areas, too. You might want to consider making this a short romance.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My brother likes to hurt my feelings and make me cry.

He’s a bully. When he has nothing to do at home and he’s over his allowed computer time, he takes it out on me.

He teases me until I cry. I have told my parents before and they talked to him, but he’s such a good liar he convinces them I have the problem.

Now, they’re going to talk to my school counsellor about me and my over-sensitivity problem.

I feel sick to my stomach, like everybody’s against me. What should I do? — Wimpy, Winnipeg

Dear Wimpy: Ask to see the counsellor at least once on your own. Be brave and go in there and get the whole situation out, as you’re experiencing it.

School counsellors are familiar with bullying brothers or sisters who act like the innocent one and make it look like their sibling has a big problem.

Bring up some hot topics that get the bullying going full steam and ask the counsellor to teach you a few things to say to your brother.

It won’t hurt to actually memorize a few retorts that will set him back on his heels.

He has to learn not to bully you again; that you have developed fangs and can protect yourself from him.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography