Don’t burden your baby with a bizarre name

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This article was published 27/03/2018 (3067 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last fall I took my wife to a cabin, owned by a friend, on Lake of the Woods. The idea was to conceive our first baby there, and the timing was right. We have a baby on the way now, but my wife wants to name the baby Lake after the place of conception, beside the most crystal-clear lake ever. We’re having a little girl.

I think the name is stupid and told her so. I want an ordinary, nice name so our little girl is not teased at school. My wife won’t listen. What can I do to get her off this name kick? — Worried Daddy to Be, Tuxedo

Dear Worried Daddy to Be: The celebrity world is full of odd names, from Gwyneth Paltrow and her ex-husband Chris Martin naming their daughter Apple to Courteney Cox and her ex David Arquette naming their daughter Coco. And it’s not a new trend: Frank Zappa named one of his daughters Moon Unit. It has to be difficult for the kids, even if they end up with nicknames.

It’s also easier on a child when the gender is clear from the name, as it avoids a lot of mistakes and people saying, “Oh, I thought by your name you would be a girl.” I found this out with one of my own sons who has a popular British/Australian name for guys that turned out to be more common for girls in this country.

I also know a man who had an ordinary name who ended up with a nickname for life because five out of 10 kids on his sports teams had the same first name, so the coach gave them all nicknames.

In my life, another blond girl, my friend Maureen, and I were often differentiated by teachers as Maureen S. and Maureen R. Our mothers were good friends, and called their daughters Maureen and their sons John. Maureen is a nice-sounding Irish name but it means “the dark one.”

I’ve come to some conclusions about names. The best name is one that clearly denotes one gender and is a little bit different, but not just different because of spelling. It should be clear how to spell the name from hearing it, and known but not over-used. As for names such as Lake or Banana (not a good idea), expect lots of teasing.

Guide your wife toward a name that describes the lake you were at, such as Crystal, and she may like it even better. If she digs her heels in, research some articles on the dangers of giving your kids names they will be teased about and read them aloud to her, if necessary.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why do boys think it’s OK to brag about their conquests, and girls are considered low class if they do? It’s not fair! I made a mistake with a big-mouthed jerk, but don’t want to talk about it ever again, even to you. — Miserable Mistake, Age 17

Dear Miserable Mistake: It’s sad you got hurt. Unfortunately the double standard still exists in 2018. Girls get judged differently for doing the same sexual things that boys do. It’s not fair, but it’s still a reality.

Both genders should keep their sexual experiences private; after all, it’s a personal and vulnerable interaction. But they often don’t.

A girl often can get away with telling her best friend or sister about her sexual experiences, but not with liberally sharing the information. Some boys crow about their sexploits to anyone who will listen and some act as if the girl is somehow low-class for doing it with them. Nice guys keep their sex lives private and tell the roosters to shut up about their “conquests.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mo.untain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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