Husband losing sight of prize, needs reassurance about size

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/03/2018 (3115 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m so frustrated! In recent months, my husband has started asking me for buildup about his small penis. I wouldn’t have married the guy if it bothered me.

Two weeks ago, I lost it. I said, “Hey! We never discuss the size of my equipment. Want to discuss my vagina with me? Do you want to tell me how it is for you in terms of size? Do you want me to apologize for anything about it?”

He told me I was being rude and disgusting, and I said he was, too, and that I have had enough of it. Now, neither one of us wants to get near each other. What should we do? — Stale Mates, Crestview

Dear Stale Mates: When you reach an impasse like this, you need a third party to intervene. A relationship counsellor may even be able to make you laugh about this fight, which is serious but also kind of silly.

Where did this lack of confidence come from? You two didn’t have these insecurities and fights when you met and fell in love and got married.

My guess is there’s been less sex and your husband has started wondering why. He looked everywhere for reasons, and landed on his small penis, which, deep down, has always bothered him.

A counsellor will help you get at the underlying reasons for his sudden obsession with this, help you two to work out the real problems and hopefully restore your good humour and love life.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother went and got her face overly shot up with Botox. Now she looks like a china doll, or a mask. She looked better when her face would crease into a smile with many lines shooting out from the corners of her eyes and her cheeks.

She thinks she looks wonderful as a blank face, but isn’t getting a lot of compliments. She asks me, and I don’t know what to say except, “It’s your face and you can do what you want.”

But that answer makes her cry. What is the right thing to say? I don’t want to make her cry again. — Loving Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Loving Daughter: She is translating your evasive answer into all kinds of negative things, so you might as well tell her the truth. Maybe this little script will give you a starting point: “Mom, you know I love you, and I have been with you as you age and find you beautiful. I don’t see wrinkles. I see smile lines and love lines and sunshine rays from the corners of your eyes.

“Please don’t feel you have to erase all your expression lines because they’re part of your beauty. Maybe you want to do a little — that’s your choice — but please, don’t do so much.”

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography