Dating friend’s dad may be risky

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/03/2018 (2759 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is a little bit complicated and very weird. My friend in her mid-30s had young parents who were barely 20 and 21 when they had her. It was an oopsy.

Her mother died young and her father, who is an athletic and youngish-looking tradesman, is in his 50s now and looks 10 years younger. I know he has always liked me a lot and has followed my travelling adventures with great interest.

His daughter (my friend) and her family moved away five years ago and I rarely hear from her.

I ran into her father at a sporting event and he had an extra seat and invited me to come sit with him closer to the front. I left my friends and moved up. When our team won, he impulsively grabbed me around the shoulders and gave me a side hug that warmed me right through. Then we went for drinks and talked for two hours.

He just called and asked me if I would like to go out for dinner to a cool new place with him and I said “yes” before I had time to think. I’m writing you immediately because I know where this could be heading and I need a plan. My stomach is going around in circles. Could I end up in trouble? — Dating My Friend’s Dad?, Winnipeg

Dear Dating My Friend’s Dad: Yes, it could be a real mess — or it could end up all right. This guy must be about 20 years older than you are. Stranger things have happened, particularly in the old days.

There aren’t so many May-December relationships these days, as women can take care of themselves financially and don’t need to settle for a secure older husband. I would suggest trying a few dates with this guy, except that he’s also your friend’s father and she’s likely not going to want you doing that, or worse still, want you getting serious about him. It’s a cringe-worthy situation, so you would probably lose her.

I’m betting you’re going to give it a whirl, since there is nothing quite like forbidden fruit. If it doesn’t work out beyond a few dates, keep it to yourself: don’t even whisper anything about these dates to the other friends in your group or it will get back to your old friend for sure. It if works well, you and your friend’s dad will have to confess what’s going on together.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m really bored of my husband in bed. I’m a happily married woman and am the envy of all my sisters, but I long for someone more stimulating than that hopeless Mr. Nice Guy who drinks too much fancy beer.

A man I think the world of at work has been trying to feel me out about my opinions on mate-swapping. He calls it an experiment for a laugh.

I have been thinking it could be a nice way out of my problem. He knows how much my husband drinks at dinner. Maybe we could ply him with enough liquor that my husband might even think it was half his fault. My guy’s always been curious about group sex. The problem is my husband is no dummy, even when he’s drunk, and he would instantly sober up enough for an adventure like this.

The other problem for me is my friend’s wife, who is exotic looking.

All I know is I’m so frustrated I have to do something before I go looking for a real affair, and I’ll bet you can guess who it is. — Looking For Trouble, Wolseley

Dear Looking For Trouble: So, you want to have an affair with the guy you think the world of at work? Why make it complicated with group sex? Involving your husband and this guy’s wife creates enough fuel for a giant explosion: pour it on a drunk foursome and see what happens!

Listen, hot stuff, you would be better off to tell your husband you’re so bored with your sex life that you are wondering if he feels the same way. And if he does, ask him how he would feel about an open marriage ,where you can both seek out new sexual adventures. That question will wake him up! In fact, he might put down his fancy beer for a moment. You never know what he’ll do. Maybe he’ll even suggest swinging all by himself or getting some books that would offer up ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Open up the topic and write back about how it goes.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6