Date-rating book falls into the wrong hands

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This article was published 02/04/2018 (3111 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been a busy girlfriend all my life. Over the years, I’ve compiled a little red book, my equivalent to a man’s little black book of phone numbers and emails. It’s filled with long-term love partners, short-terms, dates and one-night stands with a star-rating system. I’m getting married now and wondered if I should burn it. I find it quite amusing to leaf through sometimes.

My best friend since junior high and I both kept them. She thinks I should keep mine, just in case my marriage doesn’t work out. I’m not that negative. I said I was going to burn it, so we went down to the end of my property at the lake on the weekend and were all set to light them up, then she grabbed mine and said she would keep it locked in her safety deposit box in case I ever need it. I decided to let her keep it.

Two weeks later, I caught her out with one of my old boyfriends at a bar. I grabbed her by the hand and took her outside and ordered her to drive me to her house that minute and give me my little red book back or I would rat her out to my old boyfriend she was with. I grabbed her by the arm and steered her out to her car. God, I was mad! We drove to her place and she ran in and got the book and told me she was sorry, but she said it was too tempting. Should I stop being her friend? — Sick of Fighting Her, Downtown

Dear Sick of Fighting Her: Demote her, but don’t totally kick her out of your life. You need to hash this out a little more until you’re both sick of it and then see where the friendship goes. She screwed up, but it was natural to be curious and want to look in the book. She might be a bit jealous of you right now. Maybe she wanted to taste a little of your life. Now, she knows that’s not OK and she almost lost you as a friend. It was bad behaviour, but not enough to give up your best friend from junior high.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was sleeping when I looked around my bedroom and saw little lights in the room in the air over my bed. I thought they were fireflies, but it’s winter and I was wrong. I quickly woke my husband and told him to look in the air. He woke up and said he didn’t see anything and went back to sleep. I looked again and they were there again. Am I alone in reporting this phenomenon? — Seeing Things? Sage Gardens

Dear Seeing Things: You’re not alone. This type of thing is reported, though mostly by people who claim to have psychic ability. The good news is every report says they are not worrisome. Online, people report this phenomenon rarely, though you could check out psychic-experiences.com and see what you learn.

I’m certainly not psychic, but common sense tells me you might check the window and the tree branches to see if the frost, ice or snow on them is possibly reflecting light from a street lamp, moon or a neighbour’s lighted window.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My grandmother hated my mother and my mother hated me, but I was able to love and cherish my daughters and my son. I was always afraid the hatred of children would pass on from my mother, but it didn’t. I’m still scared that genetics will show up and my kids will hate their babies. It is very hard for me to keep this fear in. What should I do? — Worrying About My Kids, Fort Garry

Dear Worrying About My Kids: This would be an excellent problem to share with a psychologist, and work it out, so you stop feeling the urge to warn your kids about the old hatred and pass on your fear. For some reason, the hatred stopped with your mother and you didn’t carry it on. Great — just enjoy it and keep the fear secret.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I like to gnaw on my knuckles during tense movies and my girlfriend can’t stand it. The other night after a movie she said she thought my habit was disgusting and she wasn’t going to go to the movies with me again unless I wore gloves.

I think she should mind her own business and let me enjoy my expensive treat for us, because two movie tickets, popcorn, candy and drinks add up to a lot and she should shut the heck up and just be grateful. What do you think? — Knuckle Gnawer, Whyte Ridge

Dear Knuckle Gnawer: Actually, your girlfriend is minding her own business because the knuckle gnawing is within her sight and hearing. Also, she has feelings for you and is feeling the tension you’re expressing in your habit. Is it important to you to bite your actual skin, or could you be just as happy biting a leather glove? It seems silly, but it might work — and so might a big hunk of licorice or hard toffee.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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