Mom’s booty call means time for your own cottage

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This article was published 09/06/2019 (2646 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother is in love with a man her age. If you combine their ages, they are 150 years old. I find it disgusting they’re all kissy-poo and going to bed in the cabin, telling everyone to “have a great rest of the night, because we sure will!” Ewwww!

My dad, who died a while back, was a stuffed shirt when we were growing up and my mom kowtowed to him, as he was old-fashioned and expected to be waited on. Neither of them crowed about their sex life, if it existed, and thank goodness or I would have felt sick.

Last weekend I told my mom to “put a lid on it” or I’d have to take her grandchildren home early and she said, “If you feel that way, you should go home now!” and then kind of laughed like she wouldn’t miss us.

We’re used to coming out to the lake all summer. It’s not like my husband and I can’t afford our own place for three or four weeks, but it’s always been our second home. Are my family and kids getting pushed out of our lifelong waterfront cabin at the lake?

— Feeling Pushed Away, Lake Country

Dear Pushed Away: You’ve had a free ride for how many years? And the cabin belongs to whom? Now that you have a husband and kids, it’s time to rent a cabin and leave these happy, older sweethearts in a private situation.

Look for a rental nearby, even if it’s not waterfront, and live your own style with your own little family. Go visit the lovebirds every two days, so they have a day to start missing you, and go home when they start cooing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband owns a restaurant and he still works a double shift. I’m worried about his feet and legs and heart (he has high blood pressure). I’ve asked him to hire an assistant manager to come in at suppertime and work until the bar closes. He can count the late-shift cash, and my husband can do a day-shift cash-out, if he wants.

My husband argues other people have tried that and the night cash goes into the employees’ pockets. My husband is so worried about his precious dollars, he’s going to have a heart attack one day soon from overwork and stress.

I have a very personal complaint, too. I never see him and when I do, he’s dead tired and hurting and he’s crabby and no fun anymore, and no “loving.” How do I talk to him about all this?

— Frustrated Wife, Winnipeg

Dear Frustrated: Point out that people don’t pay with cash much anymore. Now there’s debit and credit cards, as he well knows, so it’s harder for staff to steal much cash. Also tell him he won’t be much help with his restaurant if he has a stroke or his legs and feet give out.

Add that you miss the great guy you married, replaced by a tired, grumpy and stressed-out man, with a body that’s sending him warning signals.

Tell him you want your marriage to be happy again. He may not even notice what’s been happening between you.

Give him a few weeks to let it sink in. If nothing changes, you go for marriage counselling alone, and learn how to deal with him in a different way.

Consider asking him what dollar value he puts on his health and on his marriage. Insist that he calculate those numbers. He won’t, of course, since he’s not a guy to be pushed around, but I guarantee he’ll start thinking about it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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