Stake your claim against cottage-country interlopers

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This article was published 02/08/2019 (2593 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We’ve got a scary cabin problem with female hunters. My husband is up there for the summer. He’s starting a new job in September for big money. Luckily, he had enough saved to quit the other job early and take a whole summer off with our kids. And I trusted him!

During each week, he’s alone with two married women and their young children on either side. They’re getting so chummy, I have arrived the past two Fridays to discover everyone on our big deck and all the kids playing in the water. Last weekend, one of them had the gall to ask me if I’d like a beer — from my own fridge! “Here, honey, you look beat,” she said in her bikini and tan, looking just fine herself and with full makeup on.

I had the beer and then made myself a stiff vodka, and then came out and suggested it was near suppertime and I’d like to get supper on. Bikini Babe said, “Oh, you’re all invited over to my place for a barbecue and your husband has already said yes.” He looked up and shrugged and grinned foolishly. “Where’s your husband?” I asked, and she said, “Can’t come again this weekend, poor little me!” Why did I want to slap the smile off her face? 

I smell something going on. My husband looks guilty as sin. Should I take two weeks off work and go up to the cabin to protect my marriage? I could, because I’ve got time coming. We’d be a little tight for money in September, but not bad.

— Scent of a Woman, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Cabin: Yes, get up on your hind legs and fight for your family! Marriages are all-important to preserve — for parents and the kids. Work comes second.  

Look, a woman from France would repeatedly stab that bikini-babe interloper in her ample chest and tell her to stay away from your husband or there would be nasty consequences! 

A polite Canadian wife can at least warn her husband to keep his hands off, then go home and pack up for an August summer holiday with him and the family. 

So what if money is tight in September? Divorces cost much more. Your husband is going back to work soon, and he’ll start earning again. 

So take as much time off as you can right now, and re-stake your claim. Then insist the family and Daddy come back home a week early to get school clothes and supplies ready for classes. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a sweetheart and his kids are big pigs! They are in their early 20s and live in an apartment, but they drop in every Sunday to hang out with dad and help him turn the meat on the barbecue. 

They never bring anything, but drink all our beer and ask about more. They play football and eat double what other adults eat. Their dad is so grateful to see his “boys” that he’s OK with the way they behave. 

I told him last night he has very little time left to change these guys from ungrateful, disgusting pigs into gentlemen, and he looked at me and said, “What do you know? You never had kids!” Ouch! Talk about kicking me where it hurts. I haven’t spoken to him all week. 

— Broken Gut, River Heights

Dear Broken: There are some things people should never say, and that was one of them. Calling a person’s flesh and blood “disgusting pigs” is another. 

Yes, you need to vent — but don’t cry about this alone. Talk to a very close female friend whose shoulder you can cry on, or a marriage counsellor. Don’t try to ignore this or your body may suffer from the stress. You really need to grieve once again, over the babies you never had. 

In the end, you need to do some ranting at your husband, with or without him there, to get the anger out. He could come to a later appointment or you could hit a pillow and scream your anger out at home, or with the counsellor. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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