Steer clear of boudoir photo blow-up

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/08/2019 (2232 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has hired a female photographer from his work to take some semi-erotic photos. The photos had been my idea in the beginning, but the big lug messed it up by asking a woman he knows and likes from work to do these photos. She said yes! I told him “over my dead body” and he said sarcastically, “I take it that’s a soft no?” Funny boy. 

Now I’ve looked her up on his staff page and she’s some 30-something hottie with long red hair, which I know he loves. I once got my long hair dyed red, and that’s when I met him. Coincidence? I really have to wonder what he was thinking when he asked her to do the photos. Like, maybe it could turn into a threesome? No way! 

I have this gorgeous, very expensive black lingerie I bought in New York recently and I still want the photos. When I suggested hiring a lovely gay man to do the photography, my husband balked. He said it’d turn him off to have a guy looking through the camera lens. I think he’s just being vindictive. What do you think?

— Nothing Seems Right, Southdale

Dear Nothing Seems Right: Forget the photography for the two of you. You don’t need a third party in that bedroom — too complicated and you’ve already got a struggle going on over it. So, how about you set up a time-lapse camera with lots of time to move from the camera and pose for the shot? Be honest with yourself. Is the name of the photography game “See How Beautiful I Am?” And maybe for your husband it’s called “How Hot Can We Get In Front Of Another Woman?” 

Maybe you should just hire a photographer for yourself (of any sexual persuasion) and play the part of an exotic model for a few hours, all dressed up in your New York lingerie. 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man at a bus stop near my house and we got on the bus together, sat on the first double seat and had a big laugh together all the way downtown. He was wearing a wedding ring. 

Now he’s always at my bus stop at exactly the same time I go, and always wants to sit beside me if there’s room. I always sit in the front seat, no matter what, because I need to see out the front window. Then he’ll take the seat right behind me and lean up to talk to me. 

I am so sick of it. This is my most convenient bus stop and he told me early on he is his own boss and can get to his studio whenever he wants. How do I get rid of him without walking two blocks over to get another bus?

— Bothered at the Bus Stop 

Dear Bothered: It’s doubtful a man would get out of bed early to get on a bus he could take later, unless he has an interest on that particular bus. That interest would be you. 

He’s wearing his wedding ring. My guess is he has a “married-man crush” and if things were different, he’d ask you out, but he’s not that bold. But he gets his little “fix” of you on the bus ride every day.

It sounds like you need to talk to him boldly about what’s going on, and his intentions, if there are any.

A man or woman can love their mate and still get occasional crushes. Ask him what his situation is, in detail. That may put a damper on this crush, which hopefully is a passing one and doesn’t hurt the wife. The innocent request “Tell me all about your wife?” can be a bucket of ice water over the head, so try it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.