Wife wants high-octane sex, hubby runs on regular

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This article was published 22/11/2019 (2479 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is way more into sex than me, and I’m starting to be made to feel abnormal. She constantly badgers me for sex, and I just haven’t been interested — as much I used to be.

She constantly tells me, “You’re a man. You’re supposed to want it more than I do!” This makes me feel like she perceives me as weak and abnormal, and I hate it. There’s pressure on me all the time, and it’s making me want it even less. How can we get back to normal?

— Feeling Frustrated With Her, River Heights

Dear Frustrated: If there are personal problems going on with your wife, other than sex, get them cleared up first with open conversation or visits to a relationship counsellor. Nobody wants to have sex with someone they resent. Why would they? Look how you’re feeling.

For your sex drive to return to normal, you need new stimulation, not pressure to perform, and I have a program for you. First, hit the sex shops in town primarily run by female staff, and pretend to shop for your wife. Hit the book sections, check out the games departments, peruse the magic potions and lotions shelves.

When you feel more comfortable with staff, open up about your wife’s complaints. Look at toys that vibrate — particularly those that operate between a couple. Did you know your partner can wear a little stimulator and you can operate it remotely? Imagine the fun you could have at a romantic restaurant (before the china starts rattling and you get ushered out).

If your appetite is increasing, but visuals are what you need, you can always see sexy videos online, and there are still hot videos for sale or rent at a few remaining shops.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter reamed me out last night, calling me a male chauvinist. I made a joke about women that I guess was rude, but I was just joking — I thought she’d see that. She’s 17 now and starting to become “woke” — alert to justice in society — something she claims I’m not.

I love her and don’t want her to hate me. While I would normally say, “Someone needs to grow a thicker skin,” that wouldn’t go well. What do you think I should do?

— Dad In Trouble

Dear Dad: Hit the bookstore and read 2019 material on women’s roles in the world, and have some good conversations with your daughter. Become acquainted with the works of female politicians in Manitoba, grassroots folks, female heads of businesses and other important women.

Find out what these women are accomplishing. There’s a good chance your daughter isn’t completely “woke” herself, and this will be good for both of you. Show her you’re interested, and have some discussions and get closer, instead of further apart, operating in awkward silence. Good luck with her. Young daughters can be easily aggravated by their parents.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have mother-in-law problems coming up this Christmas. She is coming from Vancouver to stay. She thinks she’s the best mother and grandmother in the world.

I told my wife she needs to tell her mom — no more changing the rules with our kids. It takes a month to get the kids back to our way of doing things. But now, my wife confessed she’s scared of her own mother. What should I do so we aren’t worrying about Grandma’s visit?

— Up to Me, Windsor Park

Dear Up to You: Send a jolly, sparkling card to your mother-in-law on Dec. 1 saying, “This year, there’ll be no more babysitting. We’re entertaining you, so bring your party clothes!”

Then actually take her out to things — concerts, plays, neighbourhood parties, dinners. It will be very good for your marriage and mother-in-law relationships. You will become the favourite son-in-law, while preventing Grandma from running the “kids department” in the house, and driving your wife mad.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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