Keep romance away from work gift

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This article was published 17/12/2019 (2502 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am madly in love with my boss and want to give him a special gift, but not so special that he’s embarrassed! He’s older and has never been married, but I’d marry him in a minute. I’m divorced, with no kids, so it’s just sweet little me I’d like to offer. What do you think is appropriate for a gift, when he probably isn’t thinking of giving me one?

— Needing To Get it Right, Broadway

Dear Needing: The only appropriate gift, since you’re not dating, is baking you’ve made yourself and wrapped up in cellophane with a big red bow. It’s a purposely confusing gift — friendly, sweet, yet not totally personal. He won’t feel he owes you anything for baking — and he won’t know it’s romantic unless you cut the cookies in suggestive shapes, which I seriously advise against.

How do you know he’s single, as in “without a partner of any kind”? He may have a woman stashed away, even a married one, and perhaps way out of town. Then again, he may be gay and in the closet, or have a man he loves. Or perhaps he’s in love with the money he’s stacking up by not having a wife and family.

Before you let yourself go completely gaga over the EPH (Esteemed Power Holder) of the office, respectfully consider that he may be single completely by choice, and has no interest in marrying anybody, even if she’s sweet, delectable you.

Or he may like you, but some men would never get together with anyone in this office, no matter what, out of principle. (No, not even in the storage room!)

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a woman in my mid-50s, retired and financially secure. I love to travel and want a healthy lifestyle. But I’m stumped! Where can I find a man who loves to travel, be active, is free to do whatever he wants, can be trusted and enjoys having his own place? I’m looking for companionship, not to be taken care of, nor to take care of someone right now or in the near future.

I’ve had relationships with men who were dependent and recently with someone who wasn’t, but didn’t like to travel or encourage a healthy lifestyle. Is it too much to ask for?

— Mature Happy Woman, Manitoba

Dear Mature & Happy: Are you kidding me? Not too much to ask for in this decade! With more than 50 per cent of marriages breaking up, and many after the kids are through college (and money pressures are off), there are lots of active, fun people who are single again in their mid-50s. Most people at singles club Adventures for Successful Singles (204-775-3484) are 35 to 60-something. Good news! Many of them love to travel. 

Hot tip: Adventures for Successful Singles is hosting its big Ritz and Glitz New Year’s Eve dinner and dance for singles and alumni members, who can come back to this one dance a year. The bash is at the Viscount Gort Hotel Dec. 31. Get the details at adventuresforsuccessfulsingles.com. Any single person can go, and will find their place sitting with other singles. Also, there are optional preparation classes starting in the new year to help those interested join the group. As for travel, informal travel groups sometimes go off for a week or two from this big group, plus there are 50 activity dates every month — sports, arts and social events with lots of dances for everybody to get to know one other.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to break up with my boyfriend as soon as Christmas is over, but I’m sure he’s going to give me an engagement ring for Christmas. I don’t want it now or ever, because he’s a closet alcoholic and lies about it.

He’s a very nice guy otherwise and I don’t want to mess up his Christmas. What do you think I should do?

— Mean Woman Blues, Outside Winnipeg

Dear Mean Woman: Giving you a diamond ring that you give right back to him is worse than telling him the truth right now. And by “now,” I mean tonight.

Don’t embarrass him more by waiting until Christmas Eve or Christmas morning and having the ring rejected, with a messy breakup following, upsetting him, the turkey dinner and the whole family.

Tell him truthfully what’s going on with you now, and let him decide what he wants to do. He may want to get through Christmas before the breakup, but at least he won’t embarrass himself by offering the ring in front of everybody as your gift.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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