Find common ground on ‘dream’ SUV

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/03/2020 (2356 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Why do all my nightmares start with an SUV driving down the road? Because my wife can’t get off the topic of buying one! Not with her money , but mine. We don’t need a living room on wheels!

We have a perfectly serviceable old four-door sedan in which ferries herself, the kids and their little friends around.

She just wants an SUV because everybody else has one in our neighbourhood. I can’t argue that — a cluster of spendthrifts. I find it’s hard enough supporting the family with a regular car for them and a small car for me. She works part-time and all her money goes into a secret account “in case anything should ever happen.” I’d like to have a look in that account some day, but her reply to that request is a middle finger.

Yesterday I suggested she go back to work full-time since the kids are all in school now, and she said, “And who is going to clean the house and cook and take the kids to their activities? Not you!”

Miss L., I really need your advice. I still don’t think it’s fair she has a secret account and I have to pay for absolutely everything… and she wants a blasted SUV!

— Not Caving, Tuxedo

Dear Not Caving: One might argue your wife is working full time or more with a half-time job outside the home, as well as being the full-time cook and housecleaner and the one who takes kids to their activities.

You have every right to say no to the SUV on your money, don’t get me wrong. But, you might suggest she put in part of an SUV car payment since she really wants one, and it’s her dream, not yours.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend heard your recent Miss Lonelyhearts radio show on CJNU with psychologist Toby Rutner that dealt with lying. He got in a big snit and called me up after the show. “Did you hear that?” he said. “You don’t know how much I have had to lie because of you, and how guilty I feel!” He said it was all my fault because I contacted him years ago, which started an affair between us. I mentioned he once told me he hadn’t laughed or smiled for five years before we got together, and that he didn’t feel a bit guilty then as he’d had other affairs before me. Not fair to blame me!

I think he owes me an apology. Do you?

— His Mistress For Now, Winnipeg

Dear Mistress: An apology is in order. When you, the temptress, first contacted him way back when, he might have said, “Sorry, but I’m married. I wish you well. Bye-bye.” But, he didn’t. While it’s probably true he feels some guilt over the lies and your affair, he is not without blame. He hasn’t made himself stop, has he? Instead, he took up your offer and you’ve been seeing each other for years. You didn’t force him to walk out of his house, and drive to your place every time he wanted to have fun.

At this point you might ask him if he’s ready to say goodbye to his wife and marry you. And if not, why not? The answer might be enough to make you say bye-bye and finally consider other options, as he is sounding less than grateful for your attentions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wandered out the door of my apartment and ran into an old girlfriend — a five-foot wino. She said she had “just moved in, fancy that.” As if she didn’t know I lived there! She has always kept tabs on me.

She said, “You should come over and see my place; it looks great,” and I said “Duh…” like a 13-year-old boy, because I didn’t know what to say. I just looked at her, and walked away. I don’t need her watchful eye on me at my place! What can I do to ward off the little wino?

— Her Prey, Downtown

Dear Prey: “Duh” was actually a pretty good reply to get rid of her. Pay no attention to her. If she talks to you, just wave bye-bye. After a while she’ll get tired of trying to talk to your hand.

If she comes right to your door on any excuse, open it a crack, say you have company and she can’t come in. Refuse to play her reconnection game, keep on saying “duh” and “uh” like a real dummy, and she will quickly tire of you altogether.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography