No surprise burst sex-buddy bubble hit hard

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/08/2020 (2195 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a COVID sex buddy. We are in our early 30s and good friends, but currently not attached to partners. We agreed we didn’t want to go through many months with no sex at all, and we have a lot of laughs together as friends.

So we made a “friends with benefits deal” between adults. It has worked too well. I have started to like him way too much. We both knew he was interested in an attached woman for a long time and he had told her about it, but that was it. She never called him and wasn’t even friends with him.

Then she and her long-term boyfriend broke up August long weekend. She phoned up my friend immediately. He was so excited he called me up to tell me, thinking I’d celebrate with him!

I kept my composure for the length of the phone call, and then said, “I gotta go,” slammed down the phone and cried my eyes out. I am broken-hearted — surprise, surprise! I’m not the big girl I thought I was. I am a sad, weepy mess.

He’s been wanting to come over and talk, but I say no and tell him he should “leave me the heck alone.” He keeps saying, “But sweetie, we had a deal!”

So what? I’m not a robot. He got to me!  All he can say is, “Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Please help me. I don’t know what to do. —Suffering Now, St. James

Dear Suffering: Now he’s off with his romantic fantasy girl, please don’t feel like a fool for having a body that’s connected to your heart. Good on you for being real.

Of course, it hurts! Cry to your best female friend, and write out your feelings on paper — much more therapeutic than a keyboard.

Now, here’s the next problem you may face with your buddy’s new romance. For a long time, her boyfriend was No. 1, and your friend was just on her substitute list. She knew she could snap her fingers and he’d be right over — and she was right.

But he wasn’t her true love, or she would have dumped her boyfriend ages ago to be with him. She knew he was willing before you two ever got together as COVID sex buddies.

He may be getting used for a while now, but there’s a good chance it won’t last long. What are you going to do if he comes running back over to your house?

If you do want him back, I suggest you insist on two weeks of quarantine after being with her (remembering she was close with the old boyfriend just before, and who knows what his situation was).

But my guess is you won’t want to be the consolation prize either. That is, unless he realizes he doesn’t want her and he’s deeply in love with you (It could happen).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m single, and I love my job. A man in a different department at work, who I’m not attracted to in the least, has made it his project to become my man.

I don’t want him! I’ve refused all his invitations for drinks, dinner and “romance.” I have not answered any of his “witty“ notes slipped into my mailbox at work. He has even sent flowers to my house. He knows my address!

You think this is not a good-looking man? Quite the opposite, but his campaign to break down my resistance makes him look like a troll to me.

I’m very valuable to my boss, but he’s a busy man and there’s no human resources department here. Should I tell him and possibly get this guy in deep trouble?

He’s divorced — no surprise — and has several kids. I don’t need him fired, just stopped.

I realize nobody can afford to lose their job these days when they support children, and I’m not a cruel person. What do you suggest? — Harassed at Work, Winnipeg

Dear Harassed: By all means, talk to your boss right now, as this aggressive Romeo isn’t taking no for an answer.

Hand your boss a short list of what this guy has done to harass you, and say you don’t need this guy fired, just scared witless!

I’m betting your boss will pick up the phone, have a stern talk with the guy, and this nonsense will stop immediately.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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