Always good idea to burst bubble if the thrill is gone

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/08/2020 (1872 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My guy and I are in a COVID-19 protection bubble both sexually and socially — and I’m getting sick of him and of myself.

First of all, we’re certainly not “in love,” even if we thought we were at the beginning. I know every one of his bad habits and he knows mine, right down to picking my toes. There is no mystery left here. I’m a slob, he’s an immature mama’s boy, and we know it!

We have tried to heat things up in bed with sex toys and light bondage and it left us yawning. It’s not the activities that are boring. We’re a mismatch and there’s a growing lack of chemistry, with a chasm getting wider and wider. Thank God we live in different apartments.

Last night I felt like kicking his butt when he came over after work, and said, as usual: “So what’s for dinner?” as if he were talking to his mom. I said, “I dunno. Did you bring takeout? I’m not even hungry — don’t think I want dinner for a few hours.”

He knew I was lying and baiting him, and stormed out saying. “I’ll have better luck over at my mom’s.” I muttered “Yeah, you big baby” loud enough for him to hear.

I’d just worked 10 hours in my front-line medical job and I was bagged. I sure didn’t need to be hustling up a hot dinner for him. I used to cater to him, but I’m through with that. So how do I get rid of him in the middle of a pandemic? — Had Enough Bullcrap From Him, Fort Richmond

 

Dear Had Enough: You can get rid of anybody during COVID-19 times, the same way you would break up other times. You don’t keep a person around to use, event though it might be tempting during the pandemic.

You must tell him when you’re sure you’re finished, and aren’t going to go running back out of boredom and loneliness.

Then you should take a break from dating, figure out what you want and go looking for it carefully — without attending big gatherings where people are drinking, losing their inhibitions and forgetting to maintain social distance or hygiene.

These days, online dating with meetings in public places and blind dates set up by friends are safer than crowded indoor bars and private parties with “moist” air where people are getting too close.

When you find someone really sweet, you both need to take some weeks, at least, to make sure you’re free of COVID-19 symptoms; that’s harder than you think when some people can be asymptomatic but still pass the virus.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a single young birdwatcher (or “birder”), which is unfortunately thought to be an old-folks activity. I’m in my 20s and learned it from my grandparents, who helped raise me.

I’m crazy about my hobby and have gone on a few trips with “the grands,” as I call them, where we could spot many exotic types of birds.

Usually I hide this kind of information from friends my age or pretend I’m not really into it and that it’s just an amusing family oddity. But, really, it’s part of who I am, and I’d like to see if this new girl I’m seeing could be into it.

We’re into the second month together and she’s suspicious. She wants to know where I go, when I “go missing” on stretches about every second weekend.

I think she suspects another girl, when it’s really feathered females, males and their offspring who fascinate me. Sometimes I go alone, sometimes with other birders.

I really like this girl and I feel like she could be really special to me, but I feel like I’m hiding something that has to come out. Help! —Secret Birder, Manitoba

 

Dear Secret Birder: It’s not like you’re hiding another hot relationship or secretly “dating around.” She’ll probably laugh with relief when you tell her where you sneak off to on weekends.

Invite her to come with you soon, to see what it’s like. If she giggles, it may be that the idea is so new to her she doesn’t understand what it could be. Explain, but also suggest she look at birding sites online and offer to get her set up with equipment.

Although birds are known to be most active at dawn and dusk, don’t drag your cutie out at dawn! Dusk could be fun and romantic as the sun starts to set.

Take treats for the ride home, take photos and don’t hound her to tell you how much she loved it. Make it low-pressure and fun.

 

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.