It’s high time you take steps to slay dragon breath

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/09/2020 (2165 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I woke up and my wife was upside down in the bed, way over on her side. I woke her up and asked her why, and she kind of laughed and didn’t want to tell me.

I kept at her until she ‘fessed up. It seems I have “dragon breath” that is so bad she can’t stand sleeping with her head on the next pillow to mine. She said my breath had grown “fierce” recently, and I should go see a dentist.

I’m very good about brushing my teeth, but she said that didn’t help and told me I shouldn’t fight her about it and, “just get it fixed!”

I was embarrassed and mad. So I said “FINE!” and took my pillow and and blanket into the spare bedroom.

My teenage son came along and asked me why I was in the spare bedroom and I said, “Because your mother says I have dragon breath.” And he said, “You do, Dad. Everybody knows.”

I went right out and bought the strongest toothpaste in the drugstore. Now it’s better, but my wife says it’s not gone and my breath is still “evil.” Now what? — Dragon Breath, Selkirk

Dear Dragon Breath: Why are you so stubborn about something that needs fixing? Nasty breath can point to serious health problems, as well as offending those who come close to you. It can be caused by gum disease, smoking, tonsil stones, badly fitting dental appliances that collect bacteria and even certain cancers.

Sleeping at the end of the bed with your feet as your her company was an embarrassing last-ditch move for your wife. And she was not laughing. You’ve obviously let this go awhile. Don’t waste any more time! Step up now for your health, family, wife, and sex life!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Mama May Strike Out, the widow with three kids who wrote you that she has a new boyfriend who has no children of his own and seems to love her kids, but not her.

Quite often, predatory men will seek single women with kids. A warning sign is that he “loves” the kids but not her. Let’s hope she can cut him loose. — A Suspicious Mind, Manitoba

Dear Suspicious Mind: You make an important point. By “predatory,” I’m assuming you mean a man who could abuse one or all of these children. She did say she “has reason” to think he loves the kids but not her.

I agree with you. She should take no chances. That is enough reason to stop dilly-dallying, as he and the children are getting more and more attached.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My kids say they can’t stand their grandparents after their late summer visit with them in the country. My parents are religious and old-fashioned, but love their grandchildren dearly.

With me and their dad out of the way, my mom saw an opportunity to preach again. They had long Bible teachings at the table after dinner, saying it was because there was no church service due to COVID-19.

Our oldest son says he will never stay there overnight again. The younger two said they still would, but only if mommy and daddy could stay, too.

Grandma, on the other hand, was delighted with the visit and can hardly wait to have them back for another stay. Totally oblivious, as usual!

She had that ring to her voice she used to get when she was on her way to “saving” someone. That’s not going to happen. I had to explain to the kids at bedtime there was no devil out to get their souls. I was so angry!

I was estranged from my mother for 10 years after I left home for the city. She finally gave up on preaching to me, so we were able to become friends again.

But now she’s onto trying to “save” the next generation when I’m not around. How do we handle this? My husband is furious. — Don’t Want Another War, Fort Garry

Dear War: Family estrangements often hurt both sides, though not equally if one side has gained freedom from an upsetting situation.

Explain to your mom it’s “hands off the kids” with regard to religion, as you don’t want another blow-up and another estrangement.

Don’t drop the kids off at their grandparents’ when you aren’t staying. A Saturday (not Sunday) family drive and dinner could be quite manageable, as long as you take the kids back home in the evening to help keep the peace.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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