Moderation will pay off in post-pandemic times

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This article was published 28/09/2020 (2195 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve had three COVID-19 dating situations since all this started six months ago and none of them have panned out to be anything at all. It’s so stilted, so careful and you feel so suspicious of new people.

I have friends who are becoming reckless after all this time and resigned to getting sick, if they must. I don’t see them anymore, though I spend time online with them playing games. I just feel depressed and trapped.

— So Sick of COVID, Osborne Village

Dear Sick of COVID: One thing is pretty certain — you’re going to be alive for the big celebrations when we’re all vaccinated. If you’ve heard about post-war times, you’ll know there was great celebration in the years after the Second World War accompanied by a leap forward in the economy.

There was partying and “carrying on” people never told their kids about. My dad — a soldier in the Second World War — only told me about it in 1969 when I was partying, enjoying weekend hippie times and thought he was such a fuddy-duddy!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter from Upset Daughter about her elderly father with empathy, and can relate to her feelings of fear completely. (Elderly dad has a cleaner he entrusted with grocery shopping that went up to $850, for which she was repaid by cheque. I suggested scaring her straight and quietly looking for a better cleaner. — Miss L.)

We went through the same thing with my mom and realized after she was sold two major appliances she didn’t need by well-known local contractors — disgusting! Back when she was her old self, she’d have immediately questioned this. We knew the time had come to begin helping her. When Upset Daughter’s dad paid for those groceries without question, then the time had come!

She needed things like a nice place to live, not being lonely and good nutrition, with people her age to visit and things to do. They’re for-profit but have caring staff, and you can find good ones.

Our parents will say they can’t afford it. They probably can if they have a house they can sell or a pension. Remember, it’s their money and they should spend it if they need to.

Anyhow, good luck to Upset Daughter — look out for yourself.

Thank you Miss Lonelyhearts; you’re an angel.

— Crestview Rob, Winnipeg

Dear Crestview Rob: Thanks for taking the time to write this loving letter about care for your elderly mom. Many of us have relatives in this position. I’d also like to add that the weight of the responsibility of being the primary caregiver is heavy, and often there aren’t enough other people who go to visit an old friend in a care home, whether independent or assisted living.

We should all ask ourselves who would enjoy a visit that we know, and bring one or two younger faces like grandchildren, nieces and nephews and a little game or two.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m madly in love with a man in the hospital where I work. As you can imagine, we’re not encouraged to have romances and complicate the lines of power. It helps that he doesn’t try to romance me, except to see me over my mask and call me a cute name about my eyes. Good thing I’m exhausted when I get home, because I can barely get to sleep, thinking of him.

The sad thing is when this COVID-19 thing is over, and it will be, I’m still not wise to chase him and get involved. We have all seen workplace romances go on, and it rarely ends well. What do I do in the meantime?

— Aching For Him, Winnipeg

Dear Aching: Daydreaming is free and physically safe, so maybe you can make him your secret COVID-19 romance and enjoy his company without coming on to him. You should know people around you can pick up on hot glances so keep your eyes on whatever project you’re doing.

That’s also best for patients, as you know. Nobody lying on an examining table or an operating table wants a flirtation taking precedence over their problems. But there’s nothing wrong with being friendly anytime. We all need friendly vibes these days, and badly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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