You owe ex some serious social-distancing space

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/10/2020 (2145 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 19 and kind of wild and crazy. I ran into a recent ex-boyfriend, and before I knew what I was doing I’d hugged and kissed him a big one on the lips. He pushed me off, and said in a choked voice: “I guess that puts you in my COVID bubble now. You must have heard I have a new girlfriend!”

I hadn’t heard anything of the kind! We only broke up six weeks ago, because he was too quiet and boring. And already he has a new girlfriend?

I backed off the annoying two metres and said, “You were never as warm and spontaneous as me anyway!” He replied, “And you never think before you do anything.” We both stomped off.

OK, I have to admit I’m impulsive, but I didn’t have a new love to protect. I sure wasn’t thinking Mr. Shy Guy would get a new girlfriend so soon. He’s not exactly a fast mover.

I’m just realizing now, after talking to my best male buddy — a psychology major — that I blew him off in a mean way by threatening his ability to keep another girl. That may have been part of it, I agree, but I didn’t do it consciously.

I was just lonely, like we all are these days, and he’s a very good kisser. Should I call and apologize to him? Is it too late?

— Sorry Now, St. James 

Dear Sorry: Don’t call! He doesn’t want to hear from you right now. He probably has enough problems explaining why he’s being aloof with his new girlfriend.

He may have been honest with her about the mushy kiss from you or he may make excuses about having a cold and be hiding out while he isolates to see if he’s OK. Or maybe he’ll just take a chance, and pray nothing happens.

You might send him a one-line email or text saying you’re sorry for what you did, but that’s it — and don’t ask for a reply. That would just annoy him further, as he suspects you’re jealous and trying to lure him back in an evil way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have what I call “no-fly depression.” I’m used to getting on planes and taking off on exotic vacations, and coming back with beautiful pictures of all the things I’ve done and places I’ve been. That’s what I spend all my money on since I got divorced (I have no kids to spend it on). Now I can’t fly anywhere, it seems.

My work is hard, but it pays well, and I’m lucky to be still working full-time. I have lots of money saved for travel, but I can’t go where I want. I’m getting really antsy and feeling more depressed all the time, as summer has ended. Any ideas for a grounded traveller who is depressed?

— Grounded Guy, Tuxedo 

Dear Grounded: Depression is no laughing matter, some folks enjoy saying, and it seriously isn’t. You need to see your doctor and perhaps a psychologist so you can get back up and do what needs to be done. You need to find a way to substitute a different dream project for travelling, at least for the next year.

Here are two ideas combining your two loves: travel and photography. On this “year off” from flying, use some of your travel money to compile a book of your previous exotic travel photos from lands far away, writing little anecdotes to go with them or dictating them and hiring a good writer/editor. The idea could be to share or even sell your book just as the COVID-19 pandemic may be finishing. People will be hungry to travel outside the country again — so there’s your market.

Then there’s Manitoba travel, and much of it still possible for you. You probably know people travel from far away to visit Canada and are amazed by the outdoor adventures and panorama of changing geography.

You and a friend or family member, who are COVID-19-careful and trust each other implicitly, could design some great mini-holidays exploring Manitoba’s amazing diversity. Then do a second travel book.

Want some added fun? You could combine Manitoba travel with personal hiking adventures with a friend or sweetheart, or maybe some geocaching if you enjoy driving in the city and countryside using a GPS to find prizes or “caches.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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