Call out your mom’s COVID carelessness

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/10/2020 (2183 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother has asked me, my wife and our child to join her group for Thanksgiving dinner, and we don’t want to go. Why not? We know who else will be there!

We have been mostly staying at home because of COVID, but my mother is having people over to her place all the time. I know this for sure, because I stopped in, and she had her usual Saturday card-playing pals over for the weekly game, which has never stopped.

They were also drinking, as usual, and they were all mask-less — every last one of them. I was furious. I took her outside and said, “Ma! What are you doing? You and your buddies are gambling with each other’s lives, and your families’ too!”

She said, “We haven’t got much longer to go in this life, so we’ll do as we like, thank you very much!”

My mother let it slip she’s also invited some of her best card-playing friends to Thanksgiving. My wife says she refuses to go over there, and she won’t let our son go either. As my mom’s closest son, I don’t know what to do. Should I go alone for a while?

— Upset Son, Fort Richmond

Dear Son: With your own wife and child to protect, you should stay home — all of you out of harm’s way. It’s time to stand up to mama! You should be more your wife’s husband and your children’s protective father than your mother’s boy now.

Your mother knows how you feel about this, but doesn’t care that your family might get sick at her place. Remind her you caught her with all her pals recently, unmasked and partying together. Then say nicely, “Goodbye. We love you, and we’ll phone you on Thanksgiving this year.” Don’t feel guilty. She is being casually careless with other people’s lives, because hers has been long and full. You and your family need the same chance at a long life!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I live in a big house. We are young and have been married one year. An old boyfriend of mine, who is just a friend now, called and asked if he could stay in our basement room when he was in Winnipeg for a night. I asked my husband and he said, “Absolutely not!” My ex heard that, over the phone, and got off the phone quickly.

Then my husband and I had a fight. He said, “Exactly how close are you to this loser who’s trying to get a free bed at his old girlfriend’s place, which she now shares with her husband?” I said he was making a big deal over nothing.

— Is My Husband Paranoid? Westwood

Dear Paranoid?: You have to admit it was pretty nervy of this ex-boyfriend to ask to couch-surf under the roof you share with your husband. Most men would be classier than that. Either he could get himself a hotel room, or ask a single buddy.

Are you aware that some exes — both male and female — get a kick out of trying to seduce their old sweethearts to get back at the person who actually won their hearts? Maybe your husband isn’t so paranoid.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has ordered me to stop wandering around the house in my underwear as our daughter is 13 now. Big deal! I’ve always walked around in my underwear. My wife has insisted our daughter always wear a robe now, when she’s walking around in her nightie. Why? What’s the problem?

— Not a Dirty Old Man! West Winnipeg

Dear Not: When kids start maturing, their bodies and feelings are changing, and parents need to be the ones to casually teach them new behaviours. It just simplifies everything if all family members wear robes over nighties or underwear around the house. Dad, too!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography