Differing takes on faith don’t bode well for family

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This article was published 29/10/2020 (2166 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My older boyfriend is religious and that was just fine with me — for a while. But I found out this week he hopes I will become religious too, and become a member of his church.

I’m in luck now, because church is not a place he goes to for the time being, in order to protect himself and me from the coronavirus. But he quietly reads his Bible and says his prayers privately in his study.

I’m 25, and not interested in religion, now or later. So why do I keep seeing him? I’ve never met a nicer, gentler guy.

He assures me he was not always like this, and was into drugs in a dangerous way. He’s been free of drugs and alcohol for years now, and has a good job.

He’s just turned 36, and would make a great dad. But I just don’t want his religion, or any religion. So where does that leave us? — Just One Thing Wrong, Downtown

Dear One Thing Wrong: There were many marriages, when I was young, where one parent went to church and took the kids while the other stayed at home, refusing to go.

Often, the kids stopped going as soon as they grew up a little. Sometimes all the kids dropped out and one parent babysat them all, while the other continued to go alone or sit with friends in the pews or in the choir.

Would this scenario appeal to you, with you staying home and your husband going with the kids? Doesn’t sound that appealing, does it? And the kids would find it weird and ask, “Why don’t you come with us, mommy?”

Let’s talk turkey. Yes, he’s a very nice guy. But you didn’t say you loved this guy in your letter, or that he loved you. Yes, he has a good job, but that isn’t enough.

Mating is not about being good on a paper; it’s the coming together of two souls who love each other and are compatible.

He’s already bothered that you don’t share faith — not his, or any kind. And, you have said clearly it’s “no-go” on your side; you’re not going to change.

You need to say a kind goodbye and look for a different nice guy who is not religious and has a job he enjoys.

Plus, you need to be physically attracted — something you didn’t mention with this man — and perhaps a tad closer in age. I know this will make you sad for a time, but you need to try again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m mad crazy about my co-worker and I can tell he gets a big kick out of me. I get the feeling he’s drifting away from his artist girlfriend, and I hope he is drifting towards me.

He and I work on a lot of projects together and our working styles and productivity match.

I feel disappointed sometimes when I have to go home at the end of the day and leave the warm rapport we have.

I say goodbye to him and feel sad and lonely as I go. Please help. — On the Outside, St. Boniface

Dear Outside: You can bet he’s noticing sparkles coming from you. They shoot from the eyes. But, you don’t mention if he seems to be reacting like that towards you.

Consider telling him you had a crush on him but you think he’s not going to be available. He will probably tell you then how he feels about his girlfriend and their relationship. That might cool you off.

Or, he might confess he’s falling for you and then it’s almost “game on.” Tell him to hold back until he’s left his girlfriend so you don’t start up in a tangled, emotional mess of three people.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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