Consider context when it comes to kissing cousins

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/02/2021 (2067 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a second cousin who wants to be more than just a cousin. He’s really cute but he’s the son of my female cousin who is much older than I am.

He’s been doing deliveries from his mother’s business, and he’s older than me about seven years. Did I mention how good-looking he is?

I’m artistic and do some fancy piece work for her on my sewing machine. And I’m single and dangerously lonely these days.

I have to confess: Last time he was here, he was bending over to pick something up. I was just putting a box on the floor for him to get, and we kind of bumped faces and we accidentally kissed. Awkward, but worth repeating when we both stood up. He dropped the box, and it was some hot kiss!

Now what? I told him unconvincingly the next time he came for a pickup that we shouldn’t be doing this. His response was to kiss me again, and I responded big time!

Is it bad to be doing this? Is this even legal? Please advise ASAP.

— Kissing Cousins? Winnipeg

Dear Kissing: Is it bad? If this cousin is seeing other people with his mask off on his delivery route — as he obviously did with you — it isn’t advisable health-wise to be in the lineup.

Is it legal? This is your second cousin. In Canada, even first cousins can legally marry.

Is it wise? Maybe not. If the families are close, it might seem creepy to them. Do you want to guard your working relationship with his mother, your first cousin, or does it matter to you? You have some important things to consider before this goes much further.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I are getting into trouble. Before the pandemic, he filled his days going to the office and weekends with his mini-garage band. Now he works from home, gets his work done in the morning, and fills his afternoons with TV binge-watching with our fat, old dog beside him.

At first, I didn’t mind, as I work nights until 4 a.m. and sleep in the mornings. So it was nice having him home in the afternoons at first, but now it’s boring and a bit irritating. To spark things up, I wrote a bunch of hot little notes of things we could try, and put them in a jar —sexy, fun things we could pull out — and then spend afternoons experimenting.

This did not go over well.

He has made every excuse why he can’t play “afternoon delight” with me — he’s too busy (not!), too tired, hurt his ankle, not in the mood, and the biggie: “What if my boss calls right in the middle?”

He’s blown off every attempt I’ve made and now I’m hurt. What to do?

— Irritated and Rejected, Linden Woods

Dear Rejected: Everybody has a right to say no to sex. Since he doesn’t feel comfortable (or turned on) by the idea of afternoon delight, you have to give him a pass.

Be fair: How can he get into a fantasy, put on the costume and get all heated up, while worrying the boss is going to call in the middle of things?

To allay your own cabin fever, you need to start going out. After you wake up and have something to eat, start going off to do things, like a walk in the park or down by one of the rivers with that chubby dog. Fido will be thrilled to bits to have your company and some exercise. He may even lick your face and show you a little affection — more than your husband wants to do!

While you’re in the car after the walk, pick up a big drive-thru coffee, park somewhere on a residential street, and phone a friend who’s free. You can get the latest scoops, since you’re in complete privacy — at least on your end.

By the time you get back to the house, you and your husband might be happy to see each other again! But don’t jump on him just then. Encourage him to go out after his end-of-work time, and he may come back refreshed and energized. After dinner and some chat, he might even be interested some “evening delight.”

Do you know the song How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away? by Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks? Give it a listen.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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