Rumour no reason to barge into mom’s love life

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This article was published 07/05/2021 (1991 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My father died years ago and my mom brought my younger brother and me up alone. She had casual boyfriends at first, but nobody she wanted to marry, and that was fine with us.

We’d have all our friends over and she’d teach us all smart card moves. We are 18 and 16 now and real sharks. My friends love her.

The other night, I had a few beers with one of these friends. Well, at beer No. 6 he told me my mom is known by some to have a “relationship with a woman.” He named her best friend.

I was shocked, but it kind of made sense. They were both single moms with young families and have been through everything together. They even travelled together in the winters up until COVID.

Also, they rented a big cottage for the two families every summer. But I didn’t ever think they were lesbians, until this friend mentioned it. Should I ask her about it? What if by chance it really isn’t true and she’s insulted?

Somehow, after thinking it over, I guess it is probably true. It just fits in so many ways. She has never dated a man seriously to my knowledge in almost 10 years and has never seemed to want to, and she has this woman friend who is everything to her.

It’s a lot to keep to myself. Should I share this with my brother, or just ask my mom? Please help.

— Mixed Up Son, Brandon

Dear Mixed Up: Figure our first what you want to come out of this. Do you want a big discussion your mother, or just to tell your mom a certain person told you the gossip, and you wonder if it’s true or not?

Your mind will start making sense of things that happened over the years and it will be less shocking over time. Do you want your brother to know, so you’re not alone keeping a family secret? Your mom might want to be the one to talk to him, when she thinks the time is right, so ask her what she’d prefer to do.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend moved back in with her parents in a huff, and left me with all the rent and bills. She was not on the lease — smart girl (probably her mother’s advice). She’s not taking my calls either.

She told me I have a full-time job, so I can afford to pay it all. Why is she being so mean and unforgiving? I slipped just once in March, and got caught. She says she paid in “pain and suffering” for my cheating. Yeah, right. She cheated on me before, and I let her get away with it.

Well, I guess I just got even. No one feels sorry for me and now I’m stuck financially. I wouldn’t have rented a two-bedroom apartment if she hadn’t wanted to come and live with me.

I work from home and still need to use one bedroom as my office. Her moving left me with no spending money after food and bills. I suspect you won’t be sympathetic, but do you have any practical suggestions?

— Left in the Lurch, Downtown 

Dear Lurch: Here’s how you can make this work. Make one change in your living space: Move your computer into the larger bedroom with your bed. Then hide the bed with a background screen that looks business-like — no tell-tale posters in the room or shirts hanging off the bedroom doorknob.

Make no reference to your boss or clients of this office actually being in your bedroom.

Try to rent out the smaller bedroom to a male roommate, and there’s your spending money back. Ask less than half the rent because the bedroom is small, and because part of the deal is he has to be quiet when you’re working at home.

A guy who has a girlfriend with her own place would be perfect. Then he’d probably stay at her house some nights, giving you peace and space to have someone new over for dinner and a little romance, when pandemic restrictions allow you to do so.

How’s that for being sympathetic?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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