High time for selfish ‘boys’ to grow up and get real

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/05/2021 (1984 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve raised two of the most selfish young adults possible. The “boys” think nothing of telling me what they want me to shell out for — not needs, but wants.

They’re in their mid-20s and both have well-paying jobs — and still live at home. They contribute nothing to the day-to-day bills of operating the house, and eat like pigs. I’ve finally had it. They know it’s coming. I’ve been told by them that their father (who passed away three years ago) would never have kicked them out, especially during a pandemic! There is a lot of door-slamming around here. They’re trying to guilt me!

I don’t think I can live another two months like this. I need some peace, but I can’t just put them out on the street. Should I have a talk with them about a rental agreement to live here? I’m lost as to what to do with them.

— Rental Agreement Cure? Westwood

Dear Rental Cure: Why would you let these two freeloaders rent at home, when they’re so greedy and rude? If you think they’re abusive now, think how nasty they’ll be when you try to collect rent each month. People generally don’t like paying for something they got for free up to this point.

The only “rental cure” for these two users is being forced to rent their own spaces elsewhere — an apartment or a suite in a house with leases that force them to pay up. You need to get these two “kids” out from under your roof for everybody’s sake — so they are forced to grow up. In the end, that’ll be your greatest gift to them.

What about you? Do you want to live in the family house alone? If it won’t be the best fit, what about selling? Then you can buy a smaller house, or a condo or apartment, maybe with a pool and neighbours to meet. You don’t need spoiled kids around to keep you company, although they will certainly drop by for swims, thereby healing the rift created when you sent them packing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man when I was out walking — he looked kind of handsome in his black mask with black hair and friendly brown eyes. We started chatting and he asked if he could walk down the road with me, as there was lots of room for distancing. We had a great time talking and of course we knew a few people in common, because this is Winnipeg! The next day we met again and did a different walk in the neighbourhood. It was fun again and kind of flirty that time — at least I was.

The third day he wasn’t there, and I waited a bit. Then I went alone, and I really missed him. He was back the next day! When I asked him where he was, he said he was over near the zoo with another walking partner. It turns out he has a weekly circuit he walks with women friends. “Why would I walk with a man?” he said.

I’m jealous! I don’t want to be part of his stable of walking mares. I get him two times a week, and he sees other women in other places the rest of the week. What should I do? My nose is…

— Out of Joint, St. Vital

Dear Out of Joint: Can you give up on wanting him as anything more than a person to walk with? This man doesn’t see you as a girlfriend. In fact, he may not see any of the other “mares” as girlfriends either. He may even have a lady friend at home who doesn’t want to walk.

Have you asked him about his personal life? Do it! It could be the pail of cold water over your head you need. Either cool off or you need other walking partners. You really enjoy walking with someone and it’s great spring weather, so why not organize a walking group like he has, with other people you know and not necessarily all women?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just finished reading the letter from Confused Slim Girl who lost weight during the pandemic while a lot of people gained weight sitting at home. (Slim Girl said she “looked down” on men who are giving her compliments now she’s thin. Miss L. suggested, tongue-in-cheek, she could always gain back some weight so she could trust a man again).

I’m disappointed you never complimented her for achieving such a goal. Well, I’d like to say kudos, thumbs-up and congratulations to the young lady! I, too, have lost some weight — 35 pounds in six months — and during the pandemic, too. It’s been a struggle, but the weight loss has improved my physical well-being immensely. I should add I’m in my late 70s. I have received compliments, too, but I’m not overly focused on impressing others with my weight loss.

I may not have agreed with her philosophy that men are only attracted to slim women, but I still believe she should be proud of herself.

— Happy With my Self Image and Achievements, Winnipeg

Dear Happy: Congratulations to you on your weight loss and your attitude. Being happy with your health and self-image is the key to continued satisfaction and confidence. Exercising to keep the extra weight off often means a longer life and greater mental acuity.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography